15 year old daughter may have BPD

[Onedayatatime73]

Hi,

I am really glad I found this support board. I think my fifteen year old daughter may have BPD. She definitely seems to have some of the traits. It's difficult to parent her at times. Her therapist seems to think her behavior is ok and seems to justify it. Her psychacrist seems to have more of a clue.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello OneDayAtATime
Welcome to the group. I am glad you found us. This is a great place to get reliable information and support. What is it your daughter is doing that leads you to suspect she has BPD? What is your biggest concern at this time? We are all here for you.
Hugs
Faith
 

[Resiliant]

Hi and Welcome!
There is so much good information on this site.
Since your daughter is just 15 then something that may be helpful is this article in the library: called "BPD or Adolesence?  How to tell the difference"  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=198034.0
I am fairly new here, so if this link doesn't work you can find the library by scrolling down below the main message groups.  So much helpful stuff there!
All the best to you and yours as you learn to deal with this challenge in life.

[Onedayatatime73]

Moderator's note- this post has been edited for privacy

Hi
Thank you for replying. My daughter gets very angry at any misinterpreted slight,  will lash out at others, self harms and is very needy with me. She also seems to have quite stormy realtionships with others. That started happening even before her teen years. I am her safe haven. She's told me that I am the only one she really trusts and loves the most.  Lately though she gets nasty with me and gives me the cold shoulder. I don't know the cause. She also seems to take turns "hating" someone in the family. When asked she may say because they were grouchy with her and said something before thinking. Even if someone offers a sincere apology she will still hold on to being angry and will bring it up time and time again even if it's been months since it has happened. She was inpatient for eight days and was discharged last Friday. She told her psychacrist this last time that my husband had an affair and that's why she's mad at him. That simply isn't true and there are no facts to back it. Dr. D wants her therapist to start doing CBT with her and to also do reality challenging. He said her thinking is very rigid and inflexible. He also mentioned that she's very judgemental of other people. I am no therapist and I haven't voiced my concerns about her possibly having bpd. She's still young. My gut instinct though is something is really off.

[FaithHopeLove]

The behavior you describe is consistent with BPD. It is called splitting. People who have this condition have difficulty seeing other people as a mixture of good and bad so they project a lot. They take their own bad feelings and project them onto some people and portray them as all bad. Then they take their good feelings and project them onto others and portray them as all good. Who gets to be bad and good can change sometimes quite rapidly. It is great that your daughter's psychiatrist is recommending CBT. Whether she is ultimately diagnosed with BPD or not it can be very helpful. How does she feel about it? Does she want to try CBT?

[Blueskyday]

Ask about DBT which is more suited to BPD..

She is exhibiting BPD traits for sure and that should be helped with DBT

[Onedayatatime73]

Dr. D specifically said he doesn't think DBT would be a good option for her at this time. He recommends CBT at this point. It may be because of her age. She's been in therapy for the last two years. I am not sure if she'll oppose to CBT. She's being willing to go to therapy so I am grateful for that. I'll keep updating as things unfold. Thank you for your response s

[FaithHopeLove]

Her willingness to go to therapy is really good.