My son finally confided in us about his wife

[Mickey47]

So my son hadn’t seen my GD since May 26, 2019. I had finally just stopped all communication with him altogether. My sons best friend moved out of his stepmom (my best friend) and dads house to go help out his mother an hour and half away. My son was upset and tried to talk his best friend into not leaving. It did not work and since he did leave my son only had his wife and his best friends stepmom and real dad. He had got a puppy from them and had to bring it back because his wife didn’t want to take care of it.

So my best friend took it back on the condition that my son would come by and spend time with it and also provide the food. So my son had been doing that a while when he finally one day called my best friend and talked to her for 45 mins. She told him well being you chose not to reply to your mothers text and such. She chooses to only communicate with you threw me and chooses not to speak to you. So you can either continue this ridiculous middle man crap or you can communicate with your mother.

He called me and talked to me for 45 mins. 2 days after this his car broke down and who did he call? Yep DADDY so my husband went picked up our son and his car and brought both home. Then loaned him one of his cars to drive to work. Then being my husband business is buying and selling cars. He had bought another car months ago just like my sons car. Which was a BLESSING because our sons engine had to be completely replaced.

So he and his dad worked together for 2 solid days taking the motor out of his car and the other car and putting the new motor in our sons car. Afterwards my husband said to our son “you know because you ignore us and your daughter I could’ve just told you tough luck and to figure it out on your own, but I love ya son and family helps each other and is there for each other in tough times.” He was very appreciative of his daddy and even said so and showed it. So this past Saturday our son came over to bring his daddy some gloves and to see and spend time with his daughter.

He was spending time with her and then she wanted to go watch a Barbie movie so he set it up. Afterwards he comes in the living room and starts talking about his plans to buy a house from his wife’s grandpa (roll eyes) I said “well is she going to get a job and help you out?” Because he has been working 2 full time jobs and getting 4 hours of sleep maybe. He said they were trying to get her disability. I said “son it’s your life and your wife but let me just say this there are people in wheelchairs, have terminal illnesses and such working she can work”

Then he explains that she met a friend in the mental hospital. My jaw dropped I never thought he’d ever tell me all the things I heard. He also said he catches crap for putting her into a mental hospital a lot. I told him yeah but does she understand you are trying to help her? He said “she doesn’t care she didn’t like it and trust me I catch crap from her about a lot.” He said he didn’t think she was bipolar either and I said I’ve  been researching Borderline Personality Disorder and she fits the criteria for sure. He thought she had something like schizophrenia. I described BPD to him and he said “hmm I’ll have to research that” I also told him he had his daughter to think about and his own mental health to think of.

I said son you can not make it on your own in this day and age. Anyway he visited a bit more with his daughter and said he’d be back this weekend to talk more. I’m just going to go very slow with this, because him finally opening up to us is great and I’ll do whatever to help him. So just thought I’d let you all know that he FINALLY came talked to us and told us everything. So everything his best friend told us was all exactly what he told us. She refuses to work and she has an excuse for every single medication they put her on. I also told him about my friend that has a son just like his wife and how he has an excuse for every medicine and I said it’s not the medication it’s they don’t want to take it. He said he knew and that he is going to get her re-evaluated and go from there.

I think he is getting to a point where if things don’t get better he is ready to abandon ship.

[Turkish]

This is good news... I'd still let him lead on where he wants to go in his life. 

[Mickey47]

Oh definitely we are not telling him how to run his life and just give a little advise. He did say he did want to talk more about things and that he was going to come over to help his dad out on the weekends. So we’d start seeing him a lot more and I said as he left “well tell M we said hi and she’s welcome to come too when you come over.” He said he’d let her know, but she probably won’t. October 20th will be a year they’ve been married and we haven’t seen her since the wedding.

She’s never come over when he does and we’ve invited her numerous times through him. I tried to go on her Facebook messages and just sent a little hello. Never received a reply. So I’ve tried to communicate with her.

Anyway I’m just going to let him come to me again just like he did Saturday. Just listen and follow his lead.