My wife wants a separation... I think

[Depression = 72% of members]

My wife wants to separate, but I am not sure if it is just her way of looking for attention. All I know is that I love her, yet I am exhausted. I know I can fix things but what is the point if we both live a frustrated life. I spend my time spoiling her and protecting her from herself, yet she says I do not show affection and I am too controlling. If I fix this then I am committing myself to more of the same.

We went to counseling for many years with a very informed Psychologist, but now she refuses to return because I apparently have brainwashed him to believe me. I have read many books on BPD and NPD, both of which she has been clinically diagnosed, but it is too hard to walk on eggshells all the time. I don't believe in divorce, but I also want off of this rollercoaster.

[gicam61@gmail.com]

My wife wants to separate, but I am not sure if it is just her way of looking for attention. All I know is that I love her, yet I am exhausted. I know I can fix things but what is the point if we both live a frustrated life. I spend my time spoiling her and protecting her from herself, yet she says I do not show affection and I am too controlling. If I fix this then I am committing myself to more of the same.

We went to counseling for many years with a very informed Psychologist, but now she refuses to return because I apparently have brainwashed him to believe me. I have read many books on BPD and NPD, both of which she has been clinically diagnosed, but it is too hard to walk on eggshells all the time. I don't believe in divorce, but I also want off of this rollercoaster.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Radcliff]

It sounds like you've worked very hard to make things better but are at the end of your rope.  Many of us arrived in the same state.  You mentioned you've read a lot of books.  How has your approach to her changed as you've learned through reading?  Have any changes in your approach helped things?

RC