Impact of being smeared

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

It's been 7 years since a relationship ended in catastrophe with an undiagnosed ex girlfriend. 

My ex is an employee at a dog rescue where I volunteered and she ruined my life emotionally for a few years during and after the relationship.  She falsely smeared me and got me kicked out of the rescue.

Now, 7 years later, I am not being considered for a job I just applied to - a job that I really wanted - because another volunteer from that rescue is the hiring manager and obviously believes the disgraceful, false lies that my ex told. 

Almost a decade later, I'm still suffering from this disgraceful person and I am absolutely livid.  I'm fed up with how unfair everything was back then and still is.  She hasn't suffered consequences for her lies and I'm so mad about it.  I know some of you would say that she suffers already from her condition but there's no justice for me.  I hate that I just have to accept this and turn the other cheek.  I hate that she treated me so terribly and that I'm still suffering consequences from her lies.  I hate that there is no fairness.  I hate that she got away with all of it.  She was absolutely awful to me. 

I hate that I am now losing a lot of money and career opportunities because of her.  After years of trying to let it go, to just accept that she has a personality disorder and leave it at that - and even winning over some of my empathy - today, I have to say no more.  I hate her for all of this and I hope there is karma in the world where she gets what she deserves for her despicable actions against me.  I was loving, supportive, affectionate and forgiving and deserved much better and I'm pissed off that this nasty person still haunts me even today. 

Sorry to those of you who are apologists and see those with BPD as victims of their disorder.  Today and going forward, I just can't feel that way anymore.  She's a rotten awful person who deserves the very worst and I hope the universe gives that to her.

[jp254958]

It's been 7 years since a relationship ended in catastrophe with an undiagnosed ex girlfriend. 

My ex is an employee at a dog rescue where I volunteered and she ruined my life emotionally for a few years during and after the relationship.  She falsely smeared me and got me kicked out of the rescue.

Now, 7 years later, I am not being considered for a job I just applied to - a job that I really wanted - because another volunteer from that rescue is the hiring manager and obviously believes the disgraceful, false lies that my ex told. 

Almost a decade later, I'm still suffering from this disgraceful person and I am absolutely livid.  I'm fed up with how unfair everything was back then and still is.  She hasn't suffered consequences for her lies and I'm so mad about it.  I know some of you would say that she suffers already from her condition but there's no justice for me.  I hate that I just have to accept this and turn the other cheek.  I hate that she treated me so terribly and that I'm still suffering consequences from her lies.  I hate that there is no fairness.  I hate that she got away with all of it.  She was absolutely awful to me. 

I hate that I am now losing a lot of money and career opportunities because of her.  After years of trying to let it go, to just accept that she has a personality disorder and leave it at that - and even winning over some of my empathy - today, I have to say no more.  I hate her for all of this and I hope there is karma in the world where she gets what she deserves for her despicable actions against me.  I was loving, supportive, affectionate and forgiving and deserved much better and I'm pissed off that this nasty person still haunts me even today. 

Sorry to those of you who are apologists and see those with BPD as victims of their disorder.  Today and going forward, I just can't feel that way anymore.  She's a rotten awful person who deserves the very worst and I hope the universe gives that to her.

[Turkish]

Did that person tell you this? Did you even get an interview? How did it go down?

[Gemsforeyes]

Dear jp-

I am so sorry that your exBPDgf’s lies and slanderous remarks potentially stood in the way of this and perhaps other job opportunities; and caused an end to your volunteer work at the dog rescue facility.

If this is in fact the case, there may be something you can do about it.  Even now.  And no, a personality disorder does NOT excuse any and all behavior... not in my book.

If you’re comfortable please provide some detail, and let’s see if we can work through these issues.  We’ve got some good business brain power on this site.

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes

[BrokenSpokane]

That is so unfair and I hear you. I can relate on some level. This week my exBPDgf successfully put a protection order against me. She convinced the judge that I was a threat to her by telling lie after lie. She believed my exBPD and now I have to pay.

Although I outlined I was the one that was actually hit, told that wished I was dead, belittled, threatened, mocked, lied to, I wasn't heard.

It's not a huge deal for I have no intention of contacting her anyway. But it just sucks (like you said) that she manipulates and lies to further her agenda. She knows nothing else but to play the perpetual victim. It hurts her in the end.

But, yeah, it really is unfair these people get away with it

[Mutt]

Hi jp254958,

I’m sorry that you didn’t get the position.

because another volunteer from that rescue is the hiring manager and obviously believes the disgraceful, false lies that my ex told.

Are you sure that’s the reason why? How many managers were interviewing you? I had 4 in my last interview.

Did you ask why you didn’t get the position?

[jinglebells1989]

My brother. If i could give you a hug right now I would.

What she has done to you is appalling. I’d call a few law firms and see if they can’t prove whatever she did/said about you as being false.