Everyday I think it is as bad as it can possibly get but then it gets worse.
We've all been there, done that.
Our patience, care and concern were rewarded with more and more outbursts, demands and overall acting-out behaviors. It's almost as though they keep pushing and pushing to see the limits you will reach. Well, you were faced with no other choice. You took action to do what you had to do.
It would be helpful for you to browse though the
tools and skills forum so you can be more informed and more confident in the future. In particular, read the topics on communication skills and boundaries. Proper boundaries are crucial. Of course, the misbehaving person will oppose boundaries. So boundaries are what we implement for ourselves. Read the articles. Briefly, the boundary pattern goes somewhat like this:
"If you do or don't do ___ then I will do or not do ___."
As Skip noted, the agency took action. Surely they know your story and the police know your history but evidently they also had to listen to their patient. People with BPD — and many professionals are reluctant to diagnose minors — have intense
Denial of their issues and are known to
Blame and
Shift Blame onto others, often those emotionally closest to them. So the agency took the cautious approach and filed that court paperwork. Your task is to defend yourself and ensure you bring with you whatever
documentation you have (photos, recordings, repair bills, multiple police reports, etc) to counter her
emotionally compelling but unsubstantiated claims.
Do you have a (proactive) lawyer capable of dealing with this high conflict issue? If the court wants to continue that agency's approach, then you may have to ponder what to do to counteract that because it may put a bad perception and presumption against you.
My story is with an oppositional spouse. As an example, when we separated I got a municipal court protection order due to her threats (which I had recorded as documentation). Well, she rushed to family court and filed for a
pro se protection order from me. I was concerned I needed a defense position in family court too so I filed a similar protection motion to counter hers. Does that make sense? I was concerned family court would ignore the other court's case (which it did ignore) and lean toward accepting her claims if I didn't similarly state how I needed protection.
