He messaged escorts and swingers all behind my back...

[Moonlight93]

My bpd bf may not be my boyfriend any longer.
It’s been almost a week since I found the escort messages and swinger websites. I set limits on what he must do to stay with me and work on this and he keeps breaking them and testing the boundaries. He’s in therapy but I don’t know if he’s actually telling her everything AND he always arrives late. Today he was 20mins late...he so has a dialectic therapy book to work through but he doesn’t actually do it often enough or practice it.

I am so hurt and I feel like I am punishing him by tracking his location, his accounts, locking his phone and the internet down. AND asking him not to pleasure himself after all the horrible messages he sent to other women and men and lady boys. He really is lost and ________ed in the head.

I can’t stop but feel like I want to hurt him how he did me. I am desperately trying to get him to realise the damage he has done to this relationship and how unless he owns his mistakes and is truly sorry for them I cannot forgive and move forward.

I am so tired, so paranoid and feel I deserve A LOT better!

Am I losing my mind?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Gemsforeyes]

I’m very sorry, Moonlight.  Your BF has an illness.  The answer is not to hurt him the way he has hurt you.

You started a thread last week on this topic and people were actively engaging with you.  Perhaps return to that thread?

Warmly,
Gems