Bewildered and resentful

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I am at the end of my rope dealing with my sister. Since before her divorce and after I have been living in hell with her anger, blame, self-pity, accusations especially because I have a relationship with her daughter and she no longer does due to the trauma they both went through with the divorce. She no longer has a relationship with anyone else in the family but since I am the only one that has'nt blocked her phone, I am at the receiving end of constant blame for not only me but the entire family. I was told by therapist to let her text but dont always respond. She has brought the worse out in me and has totally consumed my thoughts where I no longer find pleasure in things I used to.

[Nature Cat]

I am at the end of my rope dealing with my sister. Since before her divorce and after I have been living in hell with her anger, blame, self-pity, accusations especially because I have a relationship with her daughter and she no longer does due to the trauma they both went through with the divorce. She no longer has a relationship with anyone else in the family but since I am the only one that has'nt blocked her phone, I am at the receiving end of constant blame for not only me but the entire family. I was told by therapist to let her text but dont always respond. She has brought the worse out in me and has totally consumed my thoughts where I no longer find pleasure in things I used to.

[Mutt]

Hi NC,



I'd like to welcome you to  bpdfamily. I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time with your sister. I can see how a pwBPD during a life event would feel like they are consuming your life, a pwBPD can be extremely difficult under normal circumstances but a pwBPD that is going through a very stressful event is going to be really hard. It's equally hard for you because you are in the line of sight for her emotional barrage.

I'm glad that you have found us. There is hope. I would suggest to read as much as you can about BPD you will quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time. Members here can relate to your situation and what you are going through.

A pwBPD cannot handle stress well and will dysregulate. BPD is an emotional dysregulation disorder, they cannot regulate their emotions very well and take much longer to return to their emotional baseline of happiness. Stress with exacerbate BPD traits.

Is your sister diagnosed? When you say that she has consumed your thoughts, do you mean that she makes you feel worried or guilty about things? Does she make you feel responsible for all of her problems and the problems she has with family?

[Harri]

Hi.  I want to join Mutt in saying welcome!

I don't have much to add to what he said except to also encourage you to read threads as that can help build a good support network of people who understand.

I do like your T's suggestion to allow texts to go unanswered and, I presume, only respond when you feel ready.  That allows you time to calm yourself, choose how you want to respond and gives you a break.  It is a good boundary to have. 

Hope to hear more from you soon.   

[Nature Cat]

My sister was diagnosed with PTSD. She had an emotional breakdown right after her husband came out and told her he was having an affair for 4 years. Right before that he was drinking and exhibited violent behavior smashing things and tried to choke her. Her daughter was there and was petrified because she never saw her father (her idol) like that. My sister had him arrested and her daughter kind of repressed her feelings. After that, the girlfriend literally  beat up my sister when she went to deliver some of her husbands clothes and to verify if he was actually at her condo. My sister lost her job (massage therapy) due to some bad imput on Yelp by the girlfriend where my sister was working. My sister has been a mess ever since. Her daughter and her have had horrible breakdowns and fights after all of this. My sister exhibited very angry behavior for