Child not interested in help

[BBarons]

New here and feeling completely at a loss. My adult child has BPD and substance abuse disorder. For 7 years, we’ve had to step in and rescue him as he’s left school or lost jobs or struggled with addiction. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. He does not seem to want to get help-refuses therapy and is non-compliant with meds. My husband and I told him this week we would not help him if he won’t help himself. Now he’s texting his siblings and asking them for help and accusing them of not caring. I have a therapist, we have a family therapist, nothing is helping. Advice is conflicting-don’t isolate him, set boundaries. I feel overwhelmed and suicidal myself, I don’t know how much longer I can go on with this routine. He has no job and no money.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Resiliant]

Hi B,
Welcome to the group.  It sounds like you are at your wits end!  Many of us here can relate, and many of us have found the support that we need here.
You mentioned that it's making you suicidal too.  I'm so sorry to hear that!  There are many people here to support you who can relate to what you are going through.  It's important for you and your husband to put yourselves and your relationship first.  That doesn't mean not helping your son, but the only way you can help someone else is if you are strong enough to do so and have practiced self-care and self-preservation.  Precisely why they tell you on the airplane to put your own mask on first.
I'm sure you've heard this all before.  How old is your son?
Hugs   Glad you are here.  Things can get better!

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello BBarons
Welcome to the group. I am sorry for what brings you here but glad you found us. This is a great place to get the information and support you need as you deal with the stress of having a BPD addict child. My son is also dual diagnosis. I get how hard it is.

First things first. You say you feel suicidal. Are you safe right now? Are you thinking about hurting yourself? How can we help?

[Mutt]

Hi BBarons,

I’m sorry for the circumstances that led you to this forum and how you are feeling really low. Are you safe? Do you feel like you are going to harm yourself?

Members  here can relate with you and can offer you guidance and support. You are not alone.

I want to echo the poster above and ask you what do you do for self care?