3 Months Since She Left Today

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

 Hey Friends,

  I thought I would make a post on where I am at 3 months since my UBPDw (now XW) left while I was out of town.  I won't rehash my prior posts, but basically she moved 700 miles - the divorce went quickly / smoothly - and she started contacting me about 2 months in to rage at me about how terrible a person I am, and accuse of my prior abuse.  That's when she is not sending me pictures of her new puppy dog. 

  This week was / is going to be very rough for me.  Yesterday I went for jury duty in the court house where all her false charge stuff of the last year took place (wasn't easy). Today marks 3 months to the day she left.  Tonight I will drive 5 north to my family's house for Thanksgiving (last time I drove home it was with her).  And probably my favorite anniversary of this week...… a year ago she had just filed the false charges and I was wreck alone on Thanksgiving in a very dark place...not where I expected to be less than 3 months after my wedding.   

   I think it's ok for me to acknowledge these bad milestones this week.  I think it will be less ok if I do so again next year, but this year I am giving myself a pass.  I am trying to focus on the positives of the last 3 months, mainly my life has less stress and anxiety than it did before and I am free to be me and pursue what makes me happy. 

     I am also prepared for her to reach out to me this week (as she has every week since she left) with more pictures of puppy dogs and maybe more accusations. I imagine the holidays / anniversaries of this week will be even more triggering for her than me. I am not going to respond this time.  That train has left the station.

    I wish everyone a safe holiday and hopefully good healing.  Remember to focus on what you are thankful for and what blessings that you have in your life. 

[LeftBehindGuy]

 Hey Friends,

  I thought I would make a post on where I am at 3 months since my UBPDw (now XW) left while I was out of town.  I won't rehash my prior posts, but basically she moved 700 miles - the divorce went quickly / smoothly - and she started contacting me about 2 months in to rage at me about how terrible a person I am, and accuse of my prior abuse.  That's when she is not sending me pictures of her new puppy dog. 

  This week was / is going to be very rough for me.  Yesterday I went for jury duty in the court house where all her false charge stuff of the last year took place (wasn't easy). Today marks 3 months to the day she left.  Tonight I will drive 5 north to my family's house for Thanksgiving (last time I drove home it was with her).  And probably my favorite anniversary of this week...… a year ago she had just filed the false charges and I was wreck alone on Thanksgiving in a very dark place...not where I expected to be less than 3 months after my wedding.   

   I think it's ok for me to acknowledge these bad milestones this week.  I think it will be less ok if I do so again next year, but this year I am giving myself a pass.  I am trying to focus on the positives of the last 3 months, mainly my life has less stress and anxiety than it did before and I am free to be me and pursue what makes me happy. 

     I am also prepared for her to reach out to me this week (as she has every week since she left) with more pictures of puppy dogs and maybe more accusations. I imagine the holidays / anniversaries of this week will be even more triggering for her than me. I am not going to respond this time.  That train has left the station.

    I wish everyone a safe holiday and hopefully good healing.  Remember to focus on what you are thankful for and what blessings that you have in your life. 

[once removed]

I think it's ok for me to acknowledge these bad milestones this week.  I think it will be less ok if I do so again next year, but this year I am giving myself a pass.

definitely.

one of the more helpful things in my recovery, was to generally tell myself "its okay to not be/feel okay". the holidays can be one of the worst aspects of a breakup or divorce. they can really amplify the feelings of loss, and the memories. its good to acknowledge and honor that grief. at the same time, know that it will pass. its okay if next year is tough too. but if it is, you will be able to look back on this year, and see how far you have come.

I am trying to focus on the positives of the last 3 months, mainly my life has less stress and anxiety than it did before and I am free to be me and pursue what makes me happy.  

i think this is a helpful attitude. when we start to naturally feel a little bit more independent of the wounds, and the attachment, and we see a glimpse of a positive future (or present), lean into it. it yields more of it.

hoping for the best for you as you go through these difficult milestones.