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Author Topic: Our wedding anniversary is next week - Part 6  (Read 810 times)
Stillhopeful4
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 472



« Reply #30 on: November 27, 2019, 11:20:32 AM »

i understand that presently, that ship may have sailed. but there are a lot of reasons going forward, you may want to try.

Yes, I think that ship has sailed.  I have tried to see things from her perspective.  I do feel her perspective is distorted.  At some point I need to stand up for myself and stop letting her manipulate me (this is what my T has told me and I agree).

It's going to be a very long holiday weekend.  My daughter is away and my boys will be with their dad for most of the weekend.  I need to focus on collecting my thoughts on how I want to proceed.  At this point I don't have many choices as I have been ghosted by her.  She's blocked me on all social media and will not reply to any texts.  I have not seen her or heard from her in over two weeks.

SH4

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khibomsis
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
What is your relationship status with them: Grieving
Posts: 283


« Reply #31 on: November 27, 2019, 09:11:32 PM »

Dear SH4, you always have choices. I am glad you are holding it together and thinking about how you got to this point. I would accept the weekend as a gift, it is your time to think about how to move forward. I understand your anger and your frustration, but also want to ask if there is any way thinking about her perspective can help you move away from this very difficult emotional space?
Anger and bitterness binds us to a person as surely as love. At least that is my understanding of trauma bonding. Compassion helps release us and though that must start at home - you deserve a lot of love for yourself at this time - it is possible to extend it to others in a way that does not make us victims.
Is it possible for you to make plans to just go out with friends and just have fun? It sounds to me like you have had enough sorrow in your life. The pastis the past, you have a lot of work ahead of you in making your peace with it. But at the end of the day the present is all you have. Fill it with pleasant memories.
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I Am Redeemed
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2019, 09:34:18 PM »

Staff only

This thread has reached the posting limit and has been locked. The discussion continues here:https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=341629.0
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