I need help to help my son

[Masha7]

Hi Everyone,
My son who is 23, experiencing all the symptoms described in BPD. He gets angry very easily, acts on impulse, cares too much about his friendships to the point that his actions end up loosing these friendships. He is in a grad school to become a mental health counselor and because he can’t make any friends in the school, he feels that everyone is isolating him, hates him so he gets so depressed by all of it that he doesn’t want or care to do his schoolwork and wants to quit. He feels that he’s worse less  and a burden to everyone, has suicidal thoughts. He fights with me, I’m his mother, all the time. I feel that I’m walking on egg shells because anything I could say can aggravate him.
I feel hopeless, don’t know how to help him and unfortunately he doesn’t want being helped.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Masha
I am happy to meet you and glad you came here, although I am sorry about the circumstances. What you describe does sound like it could be BPD. The good news is things can get better and your relationship with your son can improve. There are communication skills that can help. You are in exactly the right place to learn them. What does he say or do that makes you think he does not want to be helped? We are all here with you.
hugs
Faith

[Masha7]

Thank you for your reply! My son had a therapist that was treating him for some time but then my son fired him, saying that therapy does nothing for him and he doesn’t believe that anyone can help him. I don’t even think that therapist diagnosed him correctly, saying that he has depression. My son himself, last week told me that he might have BPD, I guess from studying about it in his program. When I say that lets find a good therapist, he just tells me let me suffer bc he’s worse less.

[FaithHopeLove]

I see two major strengths in him
 First. he is in graduate school so he is high functioning. Second he has enough self awareness and curiosity to say he thinks he has BPD. Obviously he needs to be in therapy with someone who understands this condition. The first therapist may or may not have. But if he continues on this path of trying to become a mental health counselor he will find he has to be in counseling himself. If I were you I would take a step back. Advice from.parents can be triggering for pwbpd. Let his own chosen career and curiosity about himself (which are probably related) lead him to greater insight and health. There is a lot to be hopeful for.