Husband losing a divorce battle

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi,

Not really sure how to start something like this for this is my first time ever on an online forum, but as it is probably apparent- i am desperate.

My wife has BPD and wants to get a divorce because she no long can trust me in being open and vulnerable. She says, in order to achieve fulfillment in a companion, she needs someone of whom she can be intimate, emotionally and physically.

A little backstory to set the stage: my wife and I have never raised our voices to each other. We handle things very amicably, yet, I lost my wife's trust on the night of our daughters birth. I will admit, on that night, I wasn't the best spouse. What happened, specifically, was as she was going into pre-labor and hurtful contractions, I lacked the emotional empathy and thought we could wait longer because I was tired. She was forced to wait 3 hours in pain that I am unable to imagine, before I took her to the hospital. I am not proud of this moment, but I can our daughter was born healthy and with 0 birthing complications December 31st. 2018.

Moving forward, I understand how my wife can't forgive me for that, but I cant help but feel that her being unable to share emotional intimacy with me and being vulnerable is of her own roadblock. In the past 5 months since she brought up the idea of divorce, we have both gone extensive lengths in fixing (her recieving therapy and I making changes in our relationship). And I have done everything in my power to be more sympathetic and empathetic towards her, but I feel little to know effort from her end. To me, it feels like she is just done and wanting to pursue other partners who can provide this for her. We have been married almost 2 years, but have been together for a total of 7 years.

To me, it feels like such a loss after all this time, especially when I have been trying everything in my power to make changes. I am diagnosed as a technical sociopath, and sometimes it is hard to share empathy with others, but I have been working on mindfulness therapy to be more understanding. I definitely  do not want this to end, but it feels unenviable.

What I ask is:  is there anyone out there who has advice on what I can do, or should do? Anyone with similar experiences? Should I be forgiven, or is my wife in putting up a roadblock from every letting me in again and should we both just move on seperate paths for the better? And if that is the answer, does anyone have advice for handling the feeling of losing what feels like so much?

Thanks,

a desperate dad and husband

[hunrc]

Hi,

Not really sure how to start something like this for this is my first time ever on an online forum, but as it is probably apparent- i am desperate.

My wife has BPD and wants to get a divorce because she no long can trust me in being open and vulnerable. She says, in order to achieve fulfillment in a companion, she needs someone of whom she can be intimate, emotionally and physically.

A little backstory to set the stage: my wife and I have never raised our voices to each other. We handle things very amicably, yet, I lost my wife's trust on the night of our daughters birth. I will admit, on that night, I wasn't the best spouse. What happened, specifically, was as she was going into pre-labor and hurtful contractions, I lacked the emotional empathy and thought we could wait longer because I was tired. She was forced to wait 3 hours in pain that I am unable to imagine, before I took her to the hospital. I am not proud of this moment, but I can our daughter was born healthy and with 0 birthing complications December 31st. 2018.

Moving forward, I understand how my wife can't forgive me for that, but I cant help but feel that her being unable to share emotional intimacy with me and being vulnerable is of her own roadblock. In the past 5 months since she brought up the idea of divorce, we have both gone extensive lengths in fixing (her recieving therapy and I making changes in our relationship). And I have done everything in my power to be more sympathetic and empathetic towards her, but I feel little to know effort from her end. To me, it feels like she is just done and wanting to pursue other partners who can provide this for her. We have been married almost 2 years, but have been together for a total of 7 years.

To me, it feels like such a loss after all this time, especially when I have been trying everything in my power to make changes. I am diagnosed as a technical sociopath, and sometimes it is hard to share empathy with others, but I have been working on mindfulness therapy to be more understanding. I definitely  do not want this to end, but it feels unenviable.

What I ask is:  is there anyone out there who has advice on what I can do, or should do? Anyone with similar experiences? Should I be forgiven, or is my wife in putting up a roadblock from every letting me in again and should we both just move on seperate paths for the better? And if that is the answer, does anyone have advice for handling the feeling of losing what feels like so much?

Thanks,

a desperate dad and husband

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