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Author Topic: Never Perfect  (Read 630 times)
TelHill
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« on: December 18, 2019, 07:43:10 PM »

I'm hanging in there with my elderly dBPDm's health crisis. She is scheduled for an MRI of her head to follow up a CT scan. This scan showed she had blood on the edge of her brain. My mom has fallen many times and hit her head. She has vertigo, broke her hip 1.5 years ago. She refuses to use a cane and walker as she's supposed to.  The neurologist is certain the blood is from the falls.

I've been following the tips and tools here to  avoid FOO drama. It helps. I was feeling like my old self for quite a few days. I accomplished a lot of work - just like I used to before my H passed away.

I backslid. My mom fell down yesterday. She hit her head. She has a cut on her face and a black eye. My dad told me of a lump he has in cheek and pus coming out of a tooth earlier in the day. Both refused medical care.  I was afraid of finding one of them in bed passed away this morning.

My dad wanted me to drive them to the store this morning. Long story short, I thought they should stay home. I would do the shopping myself. They yelled at me and I yelled at them. My mom said many hurtful, crazy things as those with bpd are prone to do. I told them to go to the store themselves. They went. They arrived home fine but they shouldn't have gone with these issues.

I have cooled down. The drama makes me physically tired. I have work to do but have to delay it to recover. I'm keeping quiet. I'm avoiding drama and catastrophizing. No one is perfect - them or me.  I slip up, but am happy I had a stretch of time with peace of mind for me. It'll return.

I hope all are doing well. Hope you are making it through the holiday season!  Smiling (click to insert in post) Smiling (click to insert in post) With affection (click to insert in post) With affection (click to insert in post)



 

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GaGrl
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« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2019, 08:08:20 PM »

Just out of curiosity -- what might happen if you call from your own house for a welfare check, and let the EMTs or police ask questions about the fall, etc.?

Would they lie?
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
TelHill
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« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2019, 09:36:26 PM »

Hi GaGrl,

Yes, they would.  I've been through h3ll being a pt caregiver. Mom is on the far end of the bpd spectrum. She manipulates and abuses constantly. Dad is a classic enabler. They are legally competent to make their own decisions.

« Last Edit: December 18, 2019, 09:42:04 PM by TelHill » Logged
GaGrl
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« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2019, 10:47:19 AM »

That "legally competent" condition is the spoiler. NotWendy ran into that when trying to get help for her non father -- she was told he was legally competent to make his own bad decisions.

I'm so sorry.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
pursuingJoy
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« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2019, 02:56:01 PM »

Telhill you're managing a big load with a tremendous amount of grace. Here's a big hug  Virtual hug (click to insert in post) and sending happy thoughts your way to promote another bout of peace.   Doing the right thing (click to insert in post) With affection (click to insert in post)
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   Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? ~CS Lewis
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