Wife has might have bpd

[ozash]

We have been married for 2 years now and together for 2.5 years
Yes we married quickly
We fell in love and both decided this
I picked up on the fact that she may have bpd within 4 months of been together due to intense rage and constant blame
There are a lot of deep underlying psychological issues involving my mother in law
Earlier this year she fell pregnant with our first child I feel this whole pregnancy has bought all her bod issues to the surface and left them there as before it used to be a 6 week cycle
2 weeks after our baby was born she fully flipped out
That is a story in it self
She got admitted to ed then transferred to a maternity mental health unit where she resided for 5 weeks only seeing me occasionally
She has since left for england to seek assistance for a mother baby unit to seek psychological treatment
Although shes indecisive about the relationship at the moment we are still married tho she is unable to give a direct answer on where our future may lead and is causing me great anxiety

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ozzie101]

Hi! Welcome!

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. As you've learned, stressful life events (like having a baby) can really trigger BPD episodes.

I can understand how this situation would cause you a lot of stress and anxiety.

What are you doing to take care of yourself? Do you have friends and family you can lean on for a support system? This board can be a support for you, too, but flesh-and-blood humans are a big help. Where is your baby? Are the two of you in any sort of contact?

Keep posting! You're not alone!

[ozash]

At the moment my wife and baby are in england seeking the mother baby bed units over there
We were in good contact for a few days and now it has turned negative again
She keeps bringing up past mistakes and is implying that it is best we end the relationship
I feel so lost

[Ozzie101]

I'm sorry, ozash. That does sound like a very difficult situation -- and one that's difficult to remedy if you're in different countries.

Have you given thought to what you want to happen? You can't make her decide to keep the relationship going, unfortunately. But you can prepare for whatever could happen. For instance, if she should choose to end the relationship, would you want to be a part of your baby's life?

Thinking through these things is difficult, but very important. Also important? Keeping up your strength. Do you have a good support system?