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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Broke NC and now feel like im back at square one  (Read 424 times)
fogle24

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 15


« on: January 02, 2020, 03:31:22 AM »

So i broke NC over the holiday period, im putting this down to being caught up in the emotions of the season. But now i feel as if i have taken a step backwards were my mind keeps focusing on the good times, i know she has a new supply with an old ex, but lately i cant get her out of my mind, and have even thought about how i get her back!

Anyone any advice on how to get back on track? now that i have broken NC
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Lucky Jim
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« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2020, 03:00:39 PM »

Hey fogle24, A good place to start might be by forgiving yourself for breaking NC!  Hey, you're human, like the rest of us.  It's normal to recall the good times, but suggest you temper those thoughts with memories of the drama and turmoil.  Presumably you parted ways for a good reason.  Chances are things haven't changed with your Ex.

LJ
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
cloned2bewild

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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: No Contact
Posts: 16


« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2020, 03:16:01 PM »

Hey there! I know how hard it is to remain in full no-contact, which actually includes: No facebook, no instagram, no visiting her website, google searching photos, having no gifts of her in the house, deleting all pictures on your phone, blocking phone, text, whatsapp, telegram, email, etc. Otherwise it's minimum contact still, when you read messages that you don't answer. And that will make it an endless torment.

Even thinking about her you could still see as a "form of contact". Mindfulness can help a lot, by letting the fleeting thought of her pass by like clouds in the sky. Or by trying thought control techniques like thinking STOP each time you think of her, which can reduce the thoughts over time.

But as my previous speaker said, please forgive yourself for breaking NC. It is part of the process I guess to go there again. Especially in times of the holiday season, where close relationships are always a trigger  With affection (click to insert in post) When you think about her, I guess your mind goes all nostalgic, you might remember the drama too, but it feels like a distant dream, where the positive sides (that also this relationship must have had) get emphazised. There will be healthier options out there. From my own experience I can say that for me it has/had to do with co-dependency and love addiction why I fell for her. You deserve better! Hold on to self-love!
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SinisterComplex
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken Up
Posts: 1190



« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2020, 10:50:47 PM »

Ok first and foremost I am going to pull a Mike Epps here from How High and ask...where is my baby powder?...SLAP! Ok for serious now. It is ultimately a predictable mistake. Don't feel bad. It just makes you human. Sh*t happens. Now, you sack up and start NC again. No feeling sorry for yourself. This negative feeling crap isn't worth it. Don't damn the new year. Its a new year and a new beginning so Don't Suck, Do Better!

Make a plan. Set a goal. Take steps to achieve that goal. Focus on you. Love yourself and start thinking from a place of abundance. This person does not own you. This person does not control your destiny, happiness, or success. No my friend...only YOU have that control.

Want better, expect better, do better! I will continue to drill this into people's heads for good reason...you have to create good energy, positive vibes, and see yourself in a better light.

Remember...you are a product of what you create and how you are feeling. If you want an awesome partner...then get rid of all the bullsh*t you have inside you and start believing you are awesome and move on to better things. You will attract what you project at that current time. The mind is a powerful thing so just believe and put in the effort to achieve what you want.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-
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Through Adversity There is Redemption!
once removed
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« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2020, 02:57:05 AM »

So i broke NC over the holiday period, im putting this down to being caught up in the emotions of the season.

what did you say? what happened?
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     and I think it's gonna be all right; yeah; the worst is over now; the mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball…
fogle24

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: broken up
Posts: 15


« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2020, 09:03:29 AM »

Thanks folks,

Calmed down now and started NC again, a little bump in the road but think i am back to being on track again.

Just one of these things, on the journey to get back to myself
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SinisterComplex
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken Up
Posts: 1190



« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2020, 11:10:59 AM »

McLovin, its ok. Sh*t happens. Enjoy the journey of getting back on track and getting rid of toxicity. Once you are far enough out without any contact will start to shift to being happy again and realized what you have gained and not lost. I have faith in you...stay strong and live well. Head up and from here on out...nut up and no turning back and repeating the same mistakes of the past.

Cheers and best wishes to you!

-SC-
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Through Adversity There is Redemption!
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