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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: Looking for a friend  (Read 603 times)
Bm
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mom
Posts: 1


« on: January 02, 2020, 08:21:38 PM »

Just want to hear that I am not alone in trying to navigate this mine field.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Elizabeth22
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Posts: 121


« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2020, 09:56:40 PM »

Hi Bm Welcome new member (click to insert in post)
You aren't alone, even if it feels that way.  Virtual hug (click to insert in post)
To be honest, I don't feel I am in any position to give anyone advice right now, because I don't even know what to do myself. It can feel lonely, I agree, but you are definitely not alone. People here are understanding and kind, you are in the right place.

E22 xx
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Maggie22

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: living together
Posts: 6


« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2020, 10:25:43 PM »

Hi BM & Elizabeth22!  I am also new to this forum.  To be honest,  we are so new to this whole thing we don't even have a confirmed diagnosis yet.  I will meet with a therapist this coming Monday in hopes of getting more information and help for my son.  I was told 6 years ago that his dad was showing signs of BPD and NPD.  I thought he was having a nervous breakdown at the time.  Now our son, at just 16, is starting to behave in a similar fashion.  Last week, I also felt totally alone.  Feeling better and more empowered today.  So, like E22 just said, I can't offer any advice, but I can offer support and friendship.  And even though we don't have an official diagnosis, I can certainly say you are not alone in this battle.     
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Harri
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 5981



« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2020, 11:20:15 PM »

Hi!  I want to join Elizabeth22 and Maggie22 in saying welcome.  You have definitely landed in a safe place where people get it. 

I hope you share more when you feel comfortable.  In the meantime feel free to settle in and start reading more threads.  Jump in too.  We all support each other here.

A great place to start reading is here:  How to get the most out of this site

Again, Welcome
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  "What is to give light must endure burning." ~Viktor Frankl
wendydarling
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2706



« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2020, 04:04:58 AM »

Hi Bm Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

And welcome from me too. I'm glad you've joined us for support, you are not alone.  Virtual hug (click to insert in post) how are you doing today?

WDx
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
kiwigal
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Posts: 149


« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2020, 06:22:59 AM »

Hi BM.
You are absolutely not alone. I can so empathise with that feeling. I have had many times Ive wondering if I was losing my mind or completely alienated.. and come here and read through the info, to get tips, tools and solidarity. You are in the right place. How are things going?
Thinking of you.
Kiwigal.
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PeaceMom
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 546


« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2020, 06:56:08 AM »

Bm and Maggie,
We don’t have a firm diagnosis for DD19 uBPD either, but reading thru the list of features, she has most of them. Her last hospitalization for S.I. (Suicidal ideation) led the attending psychiatrist to list BPD as a possibility.

From what I’ve learned, the treatment protocol would help anyone who struggles with any of these debilitating symptoms. So in my mind I’m choosing to embrace these Marsha Linehan ideas and incorporate them into all aspects of my life.

I just bought the DBT SKILLS workbook for myself and will work thru the exercises with my own therapist even though my DD isn’t interested and refuses counseling.

This support group is nonjudgmental, encouraging, honest, and wise. I’ve learned a lot.

Sending you a welcome ((hug)!
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wendydarling
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2706



« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2020, 10:37:09 AM »

Hi kiwigal, nice to meet you  Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

Maggie I hope all goes well Monday, do let us know how you get on.

That's awesome self care Peacemom  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post) DBT has, is helping my DD reprioritise what's important in life. Me too!
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
Elizabeth22
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Posts: 121


« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2020, 10:07:51 PM »

Hi Maggie22 Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

Very nice to meet you. Welcome.

E22 xxxx
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Etsy

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 42



« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2020, 05:39:00 AM »

Hi Bm,
I am new here too, and totally relate to your feelin. Stuck on holiday, half way throu a week stay ! Being totally devalued by 16 year old DD.  Treated her to two massages. On the one hand admitting she does know anyone else her age who has had that and appreciative, and the other hand being snarled at devalued and disrespected on the other hand.
You feel so isolated, but it's good to know that you can reach out via this forum. I think the act of actually writing it down help to. Finding outlets is important, you do not realise, how the burden, slowly slowly builds into a mountain. I had an aromatherapy massage yesterday and the tears were just flowing afterwards ... I think it needed to come out,  and the therapist understood to. Without knowing specific details. I have come away from the hotel room had a cappuccino come on here, and know ready to face her again... wish me luck, although I think it is not a question of luck ..  but a very skillful ...skill set we must endeavour to learn ! ?
Takecare and hope to speak to you again on our journey  xx
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