I think I just discovered my 18yo daughter has BPD

[shami68]

Our family has been in crisis for the last 2.5 years.  We found out our daughter was depressed and suicidal when she was 15.  Since then we have tried several types of therapies but she has never been willing to engage.  (She has always been very stubborn.)  She has made 4 attempts and has had several visits to mental facilities.  She also struggles with an eating disorder.  When she turned 18 six months ago, she got her license and a car and immediately started engaging in sexual behavior.  Since then she has moved out and her decisions have gotten increasingly worse.  Her doctor brought up BPD about a year ago, but I didn't see the symptoms then.  Now, I see almost all of them.  Her most prevalent pattern is threatening suicide, cutting off communication, knowing we are all so worried.  Then when she "comes out" of this mental state she blows it off like it wasn't a big deal.  I'm to the point where I need to set strict boundaries, or else I believe she will continue to manipulate us and tear our worlds apart.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Blueskyday]

Yes she will continue sadly.
The hard thing is that we as parents wait for the teenage storm to pass. No one initially thinks it won't all just go away I think.

It won't go away by itself so you must Steele yourself. I have dealt with this for 20yrs.
My dtr is 30 and showing no signs of shifting the hate she has towards me.


Would you consider finding a therapist who knows about addictions and co dependence. I found this to be the crux of both mine and her issues (me being codependent).

The behaviour manifests in addictions and compulsions . Its easier to find an addiction specialist than a BPD one.
I also found mine to be more grounded in the real world. She recognised the manipulations as a means for my dtr to get what she wanted whatever that may be.
She gave me practical advice and feedback on my codependence. She taught me to say enough without the level of guilt I had had.