Merry Go round

[Jude Frances]

How do I stop trying to reason with the unreasonable (my spouse with BPD) ? How do I stop letting the constant gas lighting, projecting and blame bother me? How do I completely disengage but keep boundaries at the same time? I am struggling to find a balance and to have patience while I work on this.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ozzie101]

Hello and welcome Jude Frances!

Those are some pretty big questions but you've come to the right place. We can help you find the answers and work on ways to make your relationship better.

Trying to reason, getting triggered by blame and projection, disengaging, setting boundaries -- those are all very familiar themes around here and things I've been working on myself.

Just to get started, here are a couple of workshops that might be helpful for you:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=87204.0
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=143695.0

When you feel like it, I hope you'll share more about your relationship. Details help us get a feel for the dynamic and will help us see what tools might be most helpful to you.

Again, welcome! Keep posting!