Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
September 27, 2020, 03:34:02 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Turkish
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: >Is suddenly hiding and being secretive over their phone the ultimate red flag?  (Read 132 times)
whoneedsleep
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Confidential
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: Dating
Posts: 1


« on: January 14, 2020, 11:22:38 PM »

Hello

Recently my relationship has been going downhill - increased fights, lack of caring on her part, less interest, less sex, etc. So I started to get a feeling that she was talking to guys behind my back.

In the last few days, she has become SUPER vigilant about protecting her phone, not letting me see it, only showing me partial screenshots of conversations, not letting me grab her phone and look through it myself without her controlling what to show to me.

She goes through my phone ALL THE TIME, which I wouldn't mind cause I have nothing to hide... but it's a ridiculous double standard and gets jealous over the most ridiculous PLEASE READ... but if I try grab hers? NOPE! She will snatch it back off me, yell at me, rage at me, curse at me, until she gets it back. She even ran out of the shower dripping wet just to stop me from grabbing her phone that was laying on the desk... this was the biggest red flag I've seen so far.

I love giving people the benefit of the doubt but she is definitely hiding *something*. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and say it was just something from her past she is embarrassed of (that's what she claims) but it honestly doesn't feel like an adequate excuse.

She's always kept her phone facing downwards which is suspicious by itself, but I snooped at her phone many times when she was out of the room and never saw anything wrong. That's one of the only things that is keeping me from 100% saying she is cheating...

I would appreciate an outsider's perspective because I am emotionally involved and not thinking completely rationally.

Thanks.
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Foolish man

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 48


« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2020, 04:44:17 PM »

Hi
No one can say for sure if she is talking to other people, until you see proof.
My exbpd always used to hide her phone , face down , silent etc and she was talking to other blokes . Second time round at first she was open about phones , but then gradually became more secretive ... and yes again she was talking to the same person again ...
you could ask her outright why she is hiding her phone , explain to her how it makes you feel , but do you think you will get an honest reply ??
Logged
2Loyal2Long
**
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married and Separated
Posts: 78



« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2020, 05:57:06 PM »

Welcome to healing!  This is a very supportive site.

Sounds like you’re seeing the red flags.  No one can say for sure what she’s hiding.  You don’t know what you don’t know until you know.

If you can give more details about the relationship, how it started, how you all relate, specific instances regarding interactions, it will help those with more experience ‘see’ what maybe you’re missing.  It’s hard to see a situation when we’re in the middle of it.

So glad you’re here and reaching out, everyone deserves respect and peace in their relationships.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2020?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
40days_in_desert
Ahquei3s
alphabeta
Amethyste
Angie59
ArtistGuy70
AskingWhy
assumezero
At Bay
Avanzando
Baglady
Beneck
bigredneck
Bittlecat
Boll Weevil
calmboom
Cat Familiar
Chosen
Dnmtnbkr
drained1996
Eggshellsbroken
FaintTheGoat
FaithHopeLove
FindingMe2011
Forgiveness
freespirit
GaGrl
ggGreg
Gift to Myself
gotbushels
Harri
hopeandchoices
I Am Redeemed
Imatter33
Jazzy48
jdc
jones54
Jonthan
Katrinalove
Kwamina
l8kgrl
LLgreen
Longterm
lorymac
lovenature
loyalwife
lucidone
Manifest32f
MariannaR
Meridius
Methuen
mgirl
Minttea
Mommydoc
Mutt
narcdaughter2
needPeace
NorseWoman
Notgoneyet
oceanheart
oftentimes
Omega1
once removed
Only Human
otherlife
palynne
PeacefulMom
Pedro
pest947
podsnapG
ProudDad12
pursuingJoy
Radcliff
Raul
Recycle
Resiliant
Rev
Rosheger
Sad4Her
SamwizeGamgee
Sandalwood
SBBayArea
SCM
SerendipityChild
SES
Silverhope
Skip
songbirdtwo
StillStuck
Swimmy55
Teno
townhouse
truthbeknown
turtleengine501
Ventak
vinnie77
Violet00
wavewatcher
wendydarling
WhatJustHappened?
Whichwayisup
whirlpoollife
Wicker Man
WindofChange
worn_out
WTL
zachira
zaqsert

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!