I fear my abilities to differentiate between a mirrorer and someone genuine

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Just to say the obvious...

          many of these goals are about containing your wife, not goals for the children.


Where are things like I want my children to feel safe and respected, able to makes choices, to be able to speak freely, pursue their interests...

Or, I want my children to have healthy and dependable structure in their lives and not be pawns in adult matters or possessions.

[Enabler]

Excellent point chaps, very much appreciated.

Fian, regarding Faith I see this as a tricky one. I was shown faith, even led to faith, but I don’t think I found real faith until I found it myself... and that didn’t happen until I had a crisis of faith.

[formflier]

my view of parenting is different on this - you lead children to the truth, you don't let them decide

I don't have a lot of time to respond, but this jumped out at me as well. 

Are you proposing to present several religions to them as being on equal footing? 

Best,

FF

[Fian]

Excellent point chaps, very much appreciated.

Fian, regarding Faith I see this as a tricky one. I was shown faith, even led to faith, but I don’t think I found real faith until I found it myself... and that didn’t happen until I had a crisis of faith.

There are many ways to come to faith in God.  While crisis in faith is one way, it is not the only one, and if you can raise your children up in faith, they may be able to avoid the crisis to develop a genuine faith of their own.

The reason why I believe you should teach your children, is that is what the Bible teaches.  From Deuteronomy 6,

"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates."

[formflier]

Certainly there is a tendency in Faith to have our children follow our path.  Makes sense because we are familiar with that path and it worked for us.

That being said, it's unlikely it will play out the same way for them.

For me, there was an "orderliness" and a "schedule" for my faith when I was growing up.  I also understood that faith was an individual thing so I resisted conforming my faith with others preconceived schedules.

The christian education I received was invaluable and has stuck with me, but there is simply no substitute for trusting in your faith on your own.

I also look at my kids faith journeys and realize that all of them are vastly different, even though they have a "core to build on" that has come from their family.

Enabler

I'm surprised that raising your kids in the faith "without hypocrisy" didn't show up on the list in some form.

Best,

FF

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How did it go?

[Cat Familiar]

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