The FOG that exists around holidays and birthdays. It really can turn resolve on its head. Or turn up the anxiety in an instant. I felt the compulsive need to post here and ask advice. HOWEVER, I also talked to myself, knowing that I've got this!
So instead of crisis posting... Here is my plan.My husband and I decided that we are avoiding a big hoopla first bday for my daughter. So a small gathering with grandparents and great grandma only, is the plan. I did not want to send invitations or even bring it up with my siblings. However, my sister asked my dad what I am planning yesterday.
A side note: ( Proud of him, he told her to talk to me directly! Take that triangle!)
I realized that my sister may just be asking bc of her own sense of fOg (Obligation) to acknowledge her nieces bday. She has not talked to me since xmas and our relationship is very bland right now.
One brother is aloof and busy and there is no expectation from either side.
My oldest brother is uBPD and has not talked to me since before xmas. I felt that I was facing heavy FOG to send out invites to all my siblings. Obligated to have them at the BDAY thing. Even though that would stress me and my husband out, and probably my dad too.
Did you know that is not the case? I repeat to myself!
I have decided that I will invite my sister over with my dad
on a different day than the bday and avoid the guilt over not having siblings attend a "birthday party."
She can either come or not come, but I am not changing plans just because of FOG.
