I think my bpd ex is using me because she likes attention

[Jboy305]

She was distant I made her jealous with another girl and i told her how felt and why I did it because I was scared of losing her then she broke up and said she wanted to start again I gave her aweeks space I mailed her on Facebook she called me 2 times in the middle of the night and then she invited me to her house she changed right in front of me I asked her to get back together with me but she said because we met in a mental health ward she wanted to see how we got on as friends and outside that happened on Saturday I seen a photo on Facebook it was about meeting a special girl she loved it she wrote back thank you❤️ . I did fall for her she was sad I told her how I feeled she has been mentally physically and sexually abused by her dad she also said her fromer friend raped and her uncle I'm not making contact with her no more not even when Valentine's day comes up I chased after her slot and it was wrong to make her jealous with another girl but she has made me jealous not fair on me I got her flowers to make up for hurting her feelings I left them on her doorstep before we broke up at the start she wanted to marry me and have kids now she's been taking me for granted their is this other girl I'm friendly with she's showing signs she likes me I like her but tbh I want make ex back I don't know if my ex is telling me the truth or if she's stringing me along if I walk away she will just say I know you were going to Leave and if I chase her I look needy I'm thinking I will give it 3/4weeks she doesn't contact me then I will contact her we can still be friends

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Gemsforeyes]

Dear jboy-

Welcome to our community.  I’m sorry for the confusion that brings you here, but glad that you’ve found us.

It seems that you and your GF were both in pretty vulnerable emotional states when you met, and it’s really understandable that you gravitated strongly toward one another when you first met.  You both were in need of strong connection and you found that with one another.. at least that’s what you initially thought.

But things can change, and misunderstandings arise sometimes when we move really fast in relationships, especially when one partner has BPD, or strong traits of BPD.  That doesn’t mean her feelings weren’t real.  They were.

The best I can tell is that you and your GF really need to build trust with one another - in order to build a friendship, love relationship, or whatever the result will be.  And right, trying to make someone jealous, especially someone who has insecurities is generally NOT going to get you the desired outcome.

So my friend... how do you see building trust with her as a goal?  Is this something that you and she may be willing to do with one another?  It’s a “long game”, but can be worth the effort.  Can you think of this as something she will discuss with you?

This can be a new and important phase of a very young relationship.  We all go through this when our relationships are new.  Please keep your chin up.

Your thoughts?

Warmly,
Gemsforeyes