Manaing my BPDgf's mood swings

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi this is my first post, I've read a few bits and pieces on here and finding what I have read informitive and useful.

One thing I haven't seen is help and advice on managing my BPDgf's mood swings.

She is fully aware how bad they are, and how uneccessary they can be.  They are nearly always started by jealousy.  I am her FP as well as her boyfriend.  So it is things like seeing a woman she deems pretty and/or a threat to her on my facebook.  Or if I mention one of my ex partners (I have 3 kids so this can sometimes be unavoidable).

I get defensive and I understand why this can make her worse.  But when I am reassuring and comforting, that is also apparently something that makes her worse.

She asks me to leave her alone.  If I do leave her alone, then that is wrong and I get told off for abandoning her (this is amplied becuase I did abandon her for a couple of months at the start before I knew what BPD was).  And if I don't leave her alone, this angers her more...although eventually it does always work out and she calms down.

But I need to be better at helping the mood swings.  Any advice would be great!

[Dungle]

Hi this is my first post, I've read a few bits and pieces on here and finding what I have read informitive and useful.

One thing I haven't seen is help and advice on managing my BPDgf's mood swings.

She is fully aware how bad they are, and how uneccessary they can be.  They are nearly always started by jealousy.  I am her FP as well as her boyfriend.  So it is things like seeing a woman she deems pretty and/or a threat to her on my facebook.  Or if I mention one of my ex partners (I have 3 kids so this can sometimes be unavoidable).

I get defensive and I understand why this can make her worse.  But when I am reassuring and comforting, that is also apparently something that makes her worse.

She asks me to leave her alone.  If I do leave her alone, then that is wrong and I get told off for abandoning her (this is amplied becuase I did abandon her for a couple of months at the start before I knew what BPD was).  And if I don't leave her alone, this angers her more...although eventually it does always work out and she calms down.

But I need to be better at helping the mood swings.  Any advice would be great!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[UBPDHelp]

Hi Dungle,

I am new here too and can’t see my situation clearly yet BUT I have been given such amazing support and help here from wonderful people who will share insight and tools to help you better your relationship.

Hang in there; you are not alone.