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Codependency and Codependent Relationships
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Author Topic: The rollercoaster  (Read 358 times)
Ryder

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 3


« on: February 14, 2020, 12:38:27 PM »

I have been married 28 years and have always felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride. Got a diagnosis on my wife about 9 months ago. Understand where the ride comes from but hasn’t really gotten any easier. The last 5 years have been the hardest. How long does it take? Does it ever really get better? She is trying hard and sees counselor bi weekly.
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Harri
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 5981



« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2020, 03:47:41 PM »

Hi.

Excerpt
How long does it take? Does it ever really get better? She is trying hard and sees counselor bi weekly.
The time varies.  What sort of counseling is your wife getting? 

Some people do recover, with recovery being defined as getting to a point where the BPD behaviors are no longer pervasive and interfere with a persons life (very paraphrased version that I just wrote there).  The biggest indicators for a good outcome are 1. the desire to get better and 2. a good strong support system.  So yes, things can get better.

What sort of challenges are you facing?  Is there a particular behavior that is more challenging than others? 

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  "What is to give light must endure burning." ~Viktor Frankl
Ryder

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 3


« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2020, 10:44:23 PM »

Well she had an affair 4 years ago and developed from that a desire to talk to other men when we aren’t getting alone so they will make her feel good. Very low self esteem and she is going through a serious identity crises. When they talk about the hero to zero, that is our relationship.

She is getting some debt through her counselor, and it helps but the progress is so slow I don’t know how much longer I can continue being hurt. Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post)(
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