Will he get better?

[Ester]

My husband was just diagnosed with BPD, narcisstic, adjustment and paranoid disorders. He has OCD and PTSD. He also has mania and bipolar tendencies. My therapist actually encouraged him to take the PAI personality assessment, and due to an ultimatum from me, he took the assessment. We have only been married 4 years and he has been in therapy about 3 of the years for PTSD. However, I have questioned many times that something more was going on with him. He is also active military, an officer in the US Army, so those mental health professionals either denied or kept us from the truth. This has been the most frustrating thing I have ever went through. Between my husbands denial and manipulation, and the army's lack of providing my husband with the help he needs and deserves, I truly began questioning my sanity. I sent emails to the hospital on base as well as my husband's commanding officers and no one would help. I was beginning to think I was the problem. He is in the process of retiring from the army and has moved back to SC so we are in need of a psychiatrist and an effective psychologist. He is still in denial and hasn't even began to look for a therapist. I have researched, however he doesn't want to pay out of pocket, he wants the military to pay which limits the choices available. He takes no meds for his moods and they extremely unstable and aggressive. I have read the book (The essential guide...) and I am trying to implement the communication techniques, etc. He is so argumentative and he has elevated cortisol levels (fight or flight hormone) from having so many head injuries, that he talks fast, loud and interrupts, in addition to chronic blaming and shaming. It is extremely hard to communicate with him. He blames me, of course, and is demanding we seek marriage counseling. I am learning to not take it personal and try to stay on topic because he will go off topic every time. My heart hurts for him, but I am at the point that his abuse has crossed the line. I have left him and that is when he promised to take the PAI. Now that we have a diagnosis, he still has no desire to get help for him.
I don't want to give up on him. All advice graciously welcome!
Thank you in advance!
Ester

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