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Hi Im new here & tired of getting triggered with my husband's bpd behavior
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Topic: Hi Im new here & tired of getting triggered with my husband's bpd behavior (Read 345 times)
Healingwithlove
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1
Hi Im new here & tired of getting triggered with my husband's bpd behavior
«
on:
April 06, 2020, 07:11:28 AM »
Hi I'm tired of getting triggered and feeling devastated when my husband splits, blames me, is paranoid I'll leave him or don't love him and pushes me away feeling abandoned and unloved. I know I "can't win" and I didn't do anything wrong but that's what my inner child/teen goes to. And then I feel abandoned & resentful. I'm tired of being the "grown up" taking care of the bills & feeling lonely. I love him, know he loves me as he can and he is not doing the deep work I believe would shift things. I know in an emergency I can't fully count on him. Its good to be here. Hoping to find support, clarity and community here. Thank you.
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Mrs123
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 3
Re: Hi Im new here & tired of getting triggered with my husband's bpd behavior
«
Reply #1 on:
April 07, 2020, 10:39:41 AM »
Totally get that. I love the way you phrased “I know he loves me as he can”.
I get being tired of being the grown up, and wondering if/when he will begin to heal. Have you tried getting away for a day or two - time to breathe and get some clarity from distance? With mine I know this would cause an issue and argument in itself, and not easy with this lockdown, but on the occasion I have managed to get away it has given me time to be me and perspective.
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Ozzie101
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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Posts: 1915
Re: Hi Im new here & tired of getting triggered with my husband's bpd behavior
«
Reply #2 on:
April 08, 2020, 11:19:55 AM »
Hi Healingwithlove! Welcome!
Mrs123 asks a good question: how are you on self-care? It more difficult in a time like this, but doing little things for yourself that fill your “emotional cup” can do wonders.
The push/pull is a very difficult thing to manage. Believe me, I know.
Hope you don’t mind if I ask a few questions:
Has your H been diagnosed?
Is he now or has he been in therapy?
What sorts of behaviors cause the most problems for you? Can you describe a recent incident?
We’re here for you! I hope you’ll share more when you feel up to it.
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Hi Im new here & tired of getting triggered with my husband's bpd behavior
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