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Near or in break-up mode?
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship
Is Your Relationship Breaking Down?
Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
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Author Topic: Regrets  (Read 343 times)
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Wife
Posts: 1


« on: April 06, 2020, 01:19:07 PM »

Been married 48 yrs.  roller coaster.   Good guy/bad guy. No middle road.  Regret not leaving. Acceptance that I was weak and co dependent.   Partner shunned attempts to resolve difficulties.   Sucked in by a really nice guy.   Then blamed totally for everything that’s gone wrong in marriage.   No middle road.  Anyone been in this position for so long.  If so how did you cope .   Thanks folks.
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Face of Melinda

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married with kiddos
Posts: 27


« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2020, 11:23:23 PM »

Hello! Welcome to this group! Well I'm 15 years and 2 children in to this marriage... So you've got triple the experience that I do! Definitely read the "lessons" part of this site... That's been helping me a lot. How do I cope? Well I really try to build my life apart from my spouse... We spend a lot of time apart and reconnect for about two hours in the evening, most nights. I try to balance being true to myself with also being sensitive to his neediness. I love him but I also cycle with him between loving him and having hope things could get better to feeling things are unbearable and I need to get away... Actually the second part of the cycle gets more and more frequent. I did "train" him not to rage at me by setting boundaries but Ive never had success with getting him to be a team- player with me and I often wonder what life would be like if I were with someone with a capacity for dialogue, predictability, and nurturing... Don't blame yourself. You married for better or for worse. Tell us more about your story.
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