Hi there

[TigsMuse]

I am having a hard time helping my brother. He needs to get his direct deposit information changed at ssi. We have made calls and such to ssi and both of his banks. When we call ssi they tell us its the wrong account number... then hang up on us.
I am at my wits end with this i have no idea how to help him
any help would be much appreciated

[JNChell]

I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time helping your brother. You seem to be upset because of this. Why can’t your brother take care of his own affairs? How can we help you?

[TigsMuse]

My brother is schisophrenic as well as having a brain injury. He talks to himself alot. Working with him is like working 3 jobs at once with no stop. He does not help. His mind doesn't stay on track when dealing with business matters.
Having him close to me triggers my BPD and my PTSD.
So not only am I dealing with him talking all the time, I am trying to call and talk to SSI and the banks.
I have my own thoughts racing and rage roaring thru my mind. So by the time I'm done I am beyond mad... I have to take 3 days to calm down to be able to try again.
Then I have to plan how and what I will say to these people.
I have to call again when my brother is going to be here again talking the whole time.
Because I cannot do this without them getting his permission first.
During the pandemic it's even worse cause I know I could take them paperwork. That would show them what I'm trying to say. Instead of getting hung up on.
 The fact that SSI keeps hanging up on me is totally frustrating. The frustration makes my rage start rolling again because of  the same process all over again...

[TigsMuse]

I'm not sure how you can help me. I think I need to get back into counseling. But this pandemic does not help. Staying home does not help.
Sorry my mind is racing again

[JNChell]

Ok. You have a very full plate. I think that it’s important to be very clear on something. This community is for people that have suffered due to being in relationships with people with BPD. The discussions here may very well trigger you and cause you to have some emotional setbacks. Are you and have you been working on your BPD diagnosis? I’m diagnosed with C-PTSD, and there are many similarities between our conditions. You also have PTSD. What stands out is that you’re here to help your brother. Trying to maintain your own situation while trying to deal with and help a schizophrenic person must be very taxing. As you said, especially during this damned pandemic.

It sounds like the two of you are on your own. You can’t just leave him to his devices. Your empathy and compassion won’t let you do that. Is it possible to get help from social services so that you can have some space for yourself?

[JNChell]

Sorry to double post on you, but the racing mind is something that I experience at times. It used to be out of my control. It is uncomfortable and very noisy. I get it. Anxiety at its worst. How does it feel for you when your mind races? Insomnia? Feeling pissed off? I’m just curious.

It really helps to talk about these feelings. When I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, I was happy. Relieved in a sense. The diagnosis gave me a focal point to work from. It gave me a place to feel grounded to be able to start my work.

It sounds like your life is very crowded when you could benefit from some space to do your own work if you would want to do that. There is a movement within the psychological community that pushes diagnosis’ aside, and focuses on trauma. Complex trauma. My sister is a psychologist, and has adopted this train of thought. Complex trauma results from prolonged and adverse experiences. Typically in childhood, but it can result from other things as well.

I’m assuming that you’ve had to go through and deal with your own trauma, as has your brother. I think that we can help you. That begins with a conversation. Hope to hear from you.

[TigsMuse]

Hi there I just saw your posts to my freak out at that time! I haven't been back to this site until now... I would love to chat with you somehow on how to work on my own stuff.. I was beside myself when I wrote those posts... I will check back soon to see if you have been here thank you for your words !