Mood behaviors: Yesterday she felt the need to dominate me

[KreegaB]

This is my first post.  I am here because my daughter was diagnosed with BPD and PTSD.  Yesterday she felt the need to dominate me, telling me what to eat for breakfast, and pulling my food away.  At this point, I asked her to go to her room.  She is 14, but sometimes displays behavior of 7 year old.  So when she went into her room, she refused to come out unless it is to eat.  For brief moments she came down to eat.  Today she came down once to eat a hotdog and went back up to her room.  I hear her pacing there, or running around.  Its like she is punishing me for asking her to go to her room.  At this point, its Sunday morning.  What should I do?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome, Kreega
It seems your daughter is in therapy and that is excellent.  In my opinion since it seems she is pacing only, and she is capable of getting food for herself, I'd leave her be.  Perhaps she needs down time- or better yet, maybe you need it.  Keep us posted.

[livednlearned]

Silent treatment-type behaviors can feel so painful.

It may be that she needs the space in order to help regulate her emotions, something that people with intense BPD emotions struggle with. Because it's hard for her to be accountable for her behaviors, she may not exactly say that she needs to cool her jets, but that's essentially what she's doing, to the best of her abilities.

Sometimes the best thing to do is what Swimmy55 is suggesting, to let her be and enjoy the peace and quiet. Often, people with BPD will emerge much later from intense moods as though nothing happened. Better that she is pacing in her room as a way to regulate than stay engaged and raging with you, in which case now two people are emotionally distraught.