Hi Diagnosed BPD Ex, is on some kind of mission to win me back

[Babybae]

I walked away from my ex 10 months ago.. it.. was the worst breakup of my life. When We started fighting He.. lost it he complained of severe anxiety and would explode on me in the middle of every conversation. There were several things he told me that didn’t add up, and I no longer trusted him. It got to be too much so I cut him off.

He went on some kind of disturbed mission to get me back.. he sent me thousands of screenshots to prove that he wasn’t lying. And when I read them but didn’t respond he started sending me thousands of emails. He told everyone it was because if he had a conversation with me. He could fix what happened.

He checked himself in to the psychiatric hospital and was diagnosed with bpd and bipolar. I know he struggled for the last couple of months.. his emails were very very emotional. But he just won’t stop.. and claims that if I speak to him he can fix the situation.. he does everything in his power to manipulate me into a conversation.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m thinking about getting a restraining order just so I don’t have to deal with this anymore. I stopped ignoring his emails and respond hurtfully to each one. But that hasn’t slowed him down. He acts like nothing I say bothers him.. and keeps asking for a conversation about what happened.

Is this normal behavior for someone with bpd? And is there anything I can do to stop him? His friends say.. he’s delusional. That he is very aware that I don’t want to talk to him. And wants to stop emailing me, but he says there’s almost a compulsion and he can’t that it really messes him up. But then he switches and says that he can fix it. And reason goes out the window.

[hope2727]

Wow that is super stressful. I am sorry you are going through all that. Breakups are a challenge at the best of times and can be overwhelming when they involve a person with a disorder.

BPD and bipolar are a double whammy when co-morbid. The sheer volume and sustained pattern of insistent contact may be an indication of him not having effectively managed these disorders yet. However, that is not your responsibility to deal with the symptoms.

If you have clearly decided that you are done then that is your prerogative. His persistence then becomes harassment and abusive. Any response, no matter how small, will reward his efforts and make him more likely to persevere even longer in the future. A restraining order may be the only way to discourage his continued contact. Just be sure you are clear that you want no further contact ever if that is the route you choose.

Meanwhile there are wonderful people and resources here. I hope you will keep reading and posting. Take care of yourself during this stressful time.

Hope