Forgiving is not the same as allowing/enabling.
If you can see it for what it is, it becomes easier to stand your ground (or removing yourself!) to protect yourself and while still being loving and caring.
How do we move on from the pain that these people have caused us?
Realize that you can't change the past. You will probably not get an apology or even get them to change their ways either, so you have to free yourself from the expectations and pain.
Have you read about radical acceptance? It worked wonders for my own process, I am no longer in a bpd relationship (we both have our own different partners now) but managed to stay good friends with her so I still get to practice what I learned.
What's happening that you're having trouble moving on from?
