That moment when...

[Recycle]

...you are in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, and your city is being burned and looted to protest the death of George Floyd...

...and your uBPD Mom calls to ask if you “really want to cut her grass” because you didn’t seem too interested in doing it the last time.

Said no one ever?

[GaGrl]

"Mom, I'm sure you want to get your grass cut soon. I can help you arrange to do that as soon as the city situation is resolved safely. We all are concerned and hurting right now about being in the national spotlight about such a painful death and it's aftermath."

How much of this can your mother absorb? That might give you a barometer of the severity of her disorder.

[Turkish]

Nice SET response!

[Amethyste]

Lol I know it's not funny. But the way you put it . I don't know though. Sometimes their minds are only present to their issues and they forget everything else.

[Methuen]

...and your uBPD Mom calls to ask if you “really want to cut her grass” because you didn’t seem too interested in doing it the last time.

Ah yes.  Self-absorbed, while applying guilt and obligation with an underlying tone of predictable negativity.

I once told my uBPD mom (a long time ago) she could attract more flies with honey than vinegar.  That didn't go over well.  Your quote made me think of "my moment when...".

Yep.  Can relate.

[Turkish]

Self-absorbed, while applying guilt and obligation with an underlying tone of predictable negativity

The Waif needs rescue from his or her underlying sense of lack of self-worth.

[Methuen]

Self-absorbed, while applying guilt and obligation with an underlying tone of predictable negativity

The Waif needs rescue from his or her underlying sense of lack of self-worth.

I still remember Turkish, your reply to my very first post on this site.  It was the beginning of my recovery journey (still in progress).

To quote Imatter (on another thread), "I have learned some things".

For Recycle: you've got this.

[Schmem_25]

When reflecting and mourning over George Floyd's death, I in turn wonder what my uBPDm might say about it. I don't talk with her often, though I internally practice conversations about race often in my head for the next time I do speak with her past surface conversations. (Myself, my mom and family are white to preface) Conversations I have had with her have gone like this: she will say a racist comment about Chinese people, laugh as if it were a funny joke, and then clap back quickly with, "Oh come on, you don't think I'm racist."

As if I had the gall to label her as anything other than a perfect angel.

[Schmem_25]

I also think this is a symptom of being white and choosing not to educate yourself about race. 

But BPD does seem to add a complicated layer.

[SarahUK]

Thank you for sharing  
I wanted to comment to say I completely relate to this sort of experience - when I have a hundred and one things on my mind already, from the climate crisis to paying rent, and my uBPD mother says something so exceptionally self-involved I'm winded (though I really shouldn't be surprised by now). At the same time, she will sometimes obsessively watch news coverage and imply I'm being insular and shallow if I try to set a boundary on her regurgitating it all to me when the impulse occurs to her.
I don't have great strategies yet, apart from sometimes managing to say absolutely nothing, not even 'Mmm', and letting the silence invite her to take a step back and take perspective! It sometimes works... ;-) I could *use* some great strategies, though, because I'm currently living with my mother. (But also searching for budget accommodation daily.)