I think she is BPD and want to try work out relationship

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello, this is my first post here. I am at a loss at how I should handle my relationship. I am involved with a woman that I have grown to love but after several months I have come to suspect she may be BPD.  I have been reading a number of web articles and posts regarding symptoms, actions etc that are so so familiar to what I have been dealing with. This is by far the most difficult rollercoaster ride of my life.  I need to vent, try to make sense of this and guidance on how best to proceed.  Some days  it seems that no matter what I do it’’s wrong and then forgiven and all is okay. It’s become predictable but no stability.  So. Yes I am Shell-Shocked

[Shell-Shocked]

Hello, this is my first post here. I am at a loss at how I should handle my relationship. I am involved with a woman that I have grown to love but after several months I have come to suspect she may be BPD.  I have been reading a number of web articles and posts regarding symptoms, actions etc that are so so familiar to what I have been dealing with. This is by far the most difficult rollercoaster ride of my life.  I need to vent, try to make sense of this and guidance on how best to proceed.  Some days  it seems that no matter what I do it’’s wrong and then forgiven and all is okay. It’s become predictable but no stability.  So. Yes I am Shell-Shocked

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Learning_curve74]

Hi Shell-Shocked, welcome to the community. 

I agree with you that having a relationship with a partner with BPD can be difficult. I personally have experienced the roller coaster ride of high points and low points myself during my relationship with an ex-gf who had BPD. It can be tough and exhausting.

When we are dedicated to improving a relationship, one thing we should try to do is not make things worse. Human relationships are difficult even when both parties are relatively healthy. A person with BPD can be even more sensitive than the average person so its tough for them and tough for those of us who love them.

Have you read this article about how to handle conflict:
https://bpdfamily.com/content/ending-conflict

Maybe check it out and see if it makes sense to you. And feel free to keep posting both questions about the article and questions about your relationship. Many people here understand what you're going through because many of us have had the same types of experiences you've had. Hang in there and a virtual hug to you.