Hey there.

Welcome to BPDFamily. I’m sorry for what brings you here, but am glad that you found us. The good news is that we help each other here. We’re all peers going through situations very similar to what you’re experiencing. We get it.
Closure is a big topic around here. You’ll figure that out for yourself as you read and interact with other members. You’ll also see that it is very rarely granted by pwBPD. Closure comes with a certain level of self awareness. pwBPD tend to blame others so that they don’t have to shoulder responsibility for their actions. They possess a great deal of shame. Many of them can’t even apologize when they are caught dead to rights in a lie. They will try to twist it around instead.
You do have information that most of the members here don’t have. Your ex is clinically diagnosed. Let that be part of your closure. It’s a terrible affliction, but it is her’s.
2 1/2 years is a long time. What is it that has you holding on? Maybe the best thing that can help you understand is the power of information. If you want to know about BPD, you’re in the right place. I’m going to be blunt. You will not get honest closure from her. You’ll do yourself a solid favor by accepting that. I’m not being harsh. I understand your pain very well.
What is it that you would most like to hear from her?