Please help

[Meatball321]

My wife has not been officially diagnosed but it’s pretty clear she has bpd . Her counselor diagnosed post partem and ptsd, which is part of it. She keeps having me confront everyone she thinks is going after her, but I’m not that kind of person. After 16 years and 2 amazing young children, she believes my family does not care for her or our kids because they stopped coming around as much when our 2nd child was born.  That’s part true, but also she always has a comment about their perceived behavior and has somewhat made them uncomfortable around her. She laid out, somewhat aggressively, how she felt and criticized them for their shortcomings and they replied that she needs professional help. Which she took as a devastating insult and because I won’t confront them she accuses me of choosing them over her and my kids.  I feel like Im required or demanded to stick up for her when someone “attacks” her. I am a total introvert and have a hard time feeling passionate that she was actually wronged.

At this point I’ve been painted into so many corners by her logic, which makes a lot of sense at times. But because of her reactions to things that she doesn’t want to hear, I’ve found myself lying to her constantly to keep the peace but she’s going to find out and be devastated about that too.

We’re teetering on divorce and I feel completely helpless and absolutely terrible for her and my kids.

I’ve never posted anything like this but I am getting to the end and I’m so worried how this may end up.

What do I do? I’m trying to get a marriage counseling appointment set up but I believe once I reveal this and that she may have bpd it’s going to be bad.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

  Welcome Meatball

You are in the right place.

Sorry you are having a bad time.

There is help here, no matter what you are dealing with regarding loved one with what may be BPD.  Many here have experienced the same thing or similar to what you are now going thru.

Read here, post more about what things were like before this episode.

Nothing is so bad that it cannot be bettered.

Remember to take good care of your well being.

Sincerely,

juju