Relieved to be here

[Depression = 72% of members]

What is the type of relationship? 
My older sister

What is the status of the relationship? 
It fluctuates depending on whether she needs me or not / whether we are forced together by family circumstance etc.

How is the current status working for you?
I am conflicted.  I don't want to spend any time with her as I feel like she is drip feeding me poison, at the same time I struggle with estranging myself from her - I don't know if it is
a) possible
b) cruel

What is the top challenge you face with your loved one?
She does not recognise me as having any value at all.

How would you categorize your loved one?
I think that she has a narcissistic borderline personality disorder

What do you struggle with yourself?
There is a part of me that feels so sorry for my sister and then there is a part of me that hates her for the destruction that she wreaks.  There is a part of me that can ignore all the hateful things that she says and a part of me that believes it.  There is a part of me that never wants to see her again and a part of me that feels that that would be neglecting my duty as a sister.  I am so conflicted and saddened by the whole state of affairs that I don't even know where to begin.

What are your goals at bpdfamily?
I wanted to give my feelings some context - it is so easy to find yourself feeling isolated when dealing with someone with BPD - I also wanted to learn from other people about how they deal with the mental abuse.

[Cludme636]

What is the type of relationship? 
My older sister

What is the status of the relationship? 
It fluctuates depending on whether she needs me or not / whether we are forced together by family circumstance etc.

How is the current status working for you?
I am conflicted.  I don't want to spend any time with her as I feel like she is drip feeding me poison, at the same time I struggle with estranging myself from her - I don't know if it is
a) possible
b) cruel

What is the top challenge you face with your loved one?
She does not recognise me as having any value at all.

How would you categorize your loved one?
I think that she has a narcissistic borderline personality disorder

What do you struggle with yourself?
There is a part of me that feels so sorry for my sister and then there is a part of me that hates her for the destruction that she wreaks.  There is a part of me that can ignore all the hateful things that she says and a part of me that believes it.  There is a part of me that never wants to see her again and a part of me that feels that that would be neglecting my duty as a sister.  I am so conflicted and saddened by the whole state of affairs that I don't even know where to begin.

What are your goals at bpdfamily?
I wanted to give my feelings some context - it is so easy to find yourself feeling isolated when dealing with someone with BPD - I also wanted to learn from other people about how they deal with the mental abuse.

[Harri]

Hi Cludme and welcome. 

We have a lot of members who are posting on this board due to a sibling with BPD or other PD/mental illness so you are not alone.  We all work together to support each other and help each other learn so it sounds like you will fit right in. 

How is the current status working for you?
I am conflicted.  I don't want to spend any time with her as I feel like she is drip feeding me poison, at the same time I struggle with estranging myself from her - I don't know if it is
a) possible
b) cruel

Can you tell us more about this?  What do you do or how do you respond when she is abusive?  How often do you see her and what sort of contact do you have with her?

Sorry for all the questions.  It helps to have a bit more detail so we can better guide you.

I hope you post more and in the meantime sit back and do some reading.  We get it here and can help.

Again,