What has been your experience?

[Carguy]

I completely understand Blue Spring! For me there are times that I tried to initiate contact and reach out to her and would later be upset at myself for doing so after I got hurt.

Yeah it sounds like that relationship is already seeing problems. From everything I've read, there's a good chance it won't last. It seems like they usually blow up their relationships.

After a couple of months of staying away from my ex I ran into her at a car show yesterday. I met up with a female friend and had a few friends that was showing their cars. As I was looking at someone's car she walked by. I didn't see her walk by but as I was talking to the guy next to me I seen her from the back and wasn't sure if it was her. She was only about 20 feet away and turned back around and walked back by with the new guy. A few minutes later we were by The Pavilion and I found out she was in the pin-up girl contest. I walked away and over to my one friend that had his car in the show. I was talking to him and a minute later she comes walking not just in front my friend's car, but up the side of his car and passed us maybe 10 feet away again with the guy. She proceeded over to the food truck Maybe 30 feet away and stood there like she's getting food and was facing me. It was pretty obvious that she was intentionally watching where I went and walking by me with the new guy to flaunt it. I just pretended like I didn't even see her and like I didn't even know she was on the same Planet as me. I know she was looking for attention from me to try to trigger me but I just kept smiling and chatting to others and laughing and having a good time. It did hurt some to see her with another man but I was not going to let her have that.

Therapy has been helpful for me. I found out that my health insurance did not cover it so I couldn't go for a while but I recently found through my therapist that there are grants that will help pay for therapy. It would be worth looking into for you!

[BlueSpring]

Hi Carguy,
Good for you ignoring her like that.  You didn't let her get the best of you, and knowing how a pwBPD thinks, she's probably fuming about it. 

Mine sent me three messages tonight telling me that her new jerk has been talking with his ex girlfriend of 10 years.  If I know anything about my ex, this is going to fester and explode, and it's not going to be pretty.  I hate to admit that makes me happy, but it does.

I have two good friends, and the three of us have been through a few rough years in our own ways.  Now we've decided to hang out and do stuff and just be good to ourselves and help each other heal. 

With them and this website, I think things are going to get better. 

[Carguy]

Bluespring,

I kind of do hope it bothers her. To me it's like she was really wanting to get my attention and flaunt it and make me jealous. Someone suggested that she was probably trying to get me to want her. I wasn't going to give her attention (even if part of me does still want her). I just enjoyed myself and I think that's the best revenge you can have. Living a good life. I think it really gets to them if you are smiling and having a good time and not letting them affect you. At least not show them that it affects you.

It sounds to me like the fuse is lit and it will likely explode. I totally get you on feeling happy about that. I've done that a time or two in the past with my ex BPD. I too have feelings of hoping things explode quickly with this new guy. The thing I noticed that I thought was kind of interesting was the whole time I seen them wandering around the car show they were not holding hand, having their arms around each other, or interlocking their arms like a couple. They were just walking side-by-side and talking.

Hanging out with close friends is great therapy! I think between that and this website it will be very beneficial!