Abandonment

[Pakichu]

My partner who has bpd, broke up with me a week ago. He has blocked me from everywhere except one place. He said if I feel suicidal then I should knock him there. But I have sent him texts saying that I want him back and all that, which he didn't reply to. I even tried to get him call me by telling his sister and his best friend which didn't work either. I feel so much hopeless and also feel hopeful that he might come back. At this point, I just want him to be with me again and I feel like I'll change myself for him and look after his mental health more. I don't know should I feel hopeful? Does people with bpd come back once they have decided to leave? It's been already like a week.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Goosey]

I assume my wife has bpd. It’s been hell for years. She left three years ago and it’s been... well insane.  
  The only thing I know is she doesn’t give a hoot about me. How I feel. What I endure. That took me a long time to realize. I spent years so consumed with trying to understand and be “there”.  
Now she is hooked up with someone and is practically flaunting it.  Good for her. I’m stepping of the merry go round. Good luck to all. And thanks to this site I feel I am not the only one.  No one believes the intensity of the disfunction this illness causes.

[Pakichu]

Thanks for responding. I'm still at a very vulnerable position thinking that he might reply to me. I have also sent him text like "I'm there if he needs me and I love him." But got no reply from him at all. I feel like the 19 months relationship we had just broke just like that
 Maybe I did disappoint him in so many ways that he had to leave cos he was the person who was willing to do anything and everything for me. And now it's just gone. I'm bursting with tears as I'm writing this. This is the first time after a break up I'm seeking help and advice from any site. Guess he did leave a big impact on me

[Pakichu]

As much as I try to resent myself from texting my ex, the more urge I feel to do it. So, I thought I successfully resisted myself from texting anything to my ex yesterday. But guess what, at midnight I had this immense urge to tell him how much I wanted to kiss him. So I did. He was online but didn't reply. Then I texted him saying about this one time we were making out in the elevator. He finally replied after like 7days saying 'go away'. I couldn't take it. I just couldn't. I still told that I want him back and I love him which he didn't reply to again. Then I stopped sending him messages. I felt so humiliated I can't even explain. I don't wanna think about the past and the beautiful memories we had together. But it just keeps coming back to me. I lost hope this time and I guess he's just over me. It's too much to take as nothing serious had really happened.