New but struggling

[Sancerre89]

I suspect and my therapist does too, that my mother is struggling with undiagnosed BPD. I have spent my whole life working for her approval and love and it has affected how I deal with all of my close relationships. We go back and forth from positive to negative contact and I need off the rollercoaster. I feel alone and afraid that I’ll end up like her too, if I don’t find people who understand what this is like. I’m a 31, female and trying to survive this emotional nightmare when everything else seems like it’s great on the outside

[zachira]

You have come to the right place where there are many members who struggle with the rollercoaster of positive/negative contact with a mother who likely has BPD. You are not alone. We are here to listen and support you.

[HappyChappy]

Hi Sancerre89
Firstly a warm welcome to the forum. This is a great place to explore your mothers BPD diagnosis. The fact that you're looking into this, trying to do your best for your mother suggests you probably don't have BPD, but if you read up on it and read other peoples experiences on here it will be come clear. Your mothers behavior does keep her in the BPD fame, but only a clinician can diagnose, but someone with BPD your mothers age, is unlikely to go for diagnoses let alone accept a negative label.

On here there are resources to help you get the most out of someone with BPD, as well as how to self care for yourself as long explore to someone who lacks empathy can cause all sorts of issues, most common being eating disorders or PTSD. I look forward to your contributions.

[pursuingJoy]

Joining the others to say welcome, Sancerre89!  You're in good company. I know I can relate to the roller coaster and your fear of becoming like the person that hurt you. We're here as a sounding board, point of connection, guide post, or listening ear.    Let us know how we can support you in this! 

pj