Hello everyone

[Peaceful place]

Hi everyone 

I'm new to the bpd family and message board. I think over time I'm going to be glad its here.
Not sure how much to say right now other than my thoughts and that is... How do I bring peace into my life. Make sure I continue to live my life without feeling frightened of my brother(s) unpredictable behaviour (s)? Still continue to remain strong and aim for happiness when I know my brother is struggling with his own emotions. I know its not for me to say to him you need help. But who is going to if I don't say something?

I live with 2 of my brothers only recently moving into my parents house after they passed away.

The brother with unBLP is not working and by all accounts says he will not work.

He has changed. He used to work, own his own house and was very successful. But three deaths in the family have taken its toll on him. On all of us. He has a drink problem and fits many of the characteristics of having to deal with a BLP disorder.

For example; historical
events are not fully remembered or can be accounted.  Conversations will escalate into misunderstandings defensiveness and go off subject quickly onto talk of suicide and him wanting to be homeless as he thinks this will make him happy. The outbursts are all the time over minor to important things. There are trust issues accusations and moral high grounds continously aired.The slightest thing will make him abusive and turn.

I have a great deal to learn about what triggers me. And even more on what I need to change in my own behaviour.
I have 3 brothers and a sister.
It seems like all of us are all effected with the same aggressive dont care how I treat you or each other or ourselves attitude. We just can't seem to get passed this. I feel there has been a sense of unfairness and secrecy and a lack of honesty amongst us, but specifically this behaviour impacts on me as it makes me feel placed outside their circle of trust.


I just wanted to share this

[pursuingJoy]

Peaceful place, hi   I'm really glad you found us. Welcome!

Thanks for sharing your story with us.   I understand your need to find peace. It is pretty exhausting to live without a measure of peace.    

At a point when I was feeling helpless, this board helped me realize that I have power over my situation, though it's limited. I really encourage you to check out some of the tools here, if you haven't already. Boundary setting has made a huge difference in my family.  

We are always here to listen and support. I can definitely relate to the different accounts and memory loss, escalations of simple misunderstandings, and outbursts. What does it look like when your brother gets angry and abusive? What is your other brother's role in the dynamic? What does he do/how does he respond?