Suicide threats - calling 911

[srivili]

My therapist wants me to convey to my daughter in writing that next time she threatens suicide that I will call 911. I am scared that this note will trigger more rages. The therapist asserts that I cannot live in fear of 'what if'. It is supposed to stop her 'threats' and act as a shock. Has anyone dealt with this line of communication?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

This is a really stressful situation and it is great that you have someone to support you. I am not sure that any approach can guarantee putting an end to someone else's behaviour. That said, I did find it helpful when - eventually - the police became involved in my situation (there were episodes of domestic violence between the parties living in my house). Personally I think it is a good idea to try this - it means that medical people would be involved if/when another incident occurs and you would feel less  alone in dealing with it all. Knowing that others will be involved can also help a person regulate their behaviour sometimes too. I hope others who have tried this can tell you of their experience - though every person/situation is different of course. I hope, if you do try this, that there is a positive outcome.

[srivili]

Thank you and appreciate your response. We do not live in the same house. Her issue is me not coming over to her house when she is feeling 'depressed and suicidal'; "you are my mom and you are supposed to be there for me and instead you are calling my therapist".  I have no answer for that, as it involves enormous guilt and also what if that one time I really cannot be there. I want her to live for herself and  her young children and learn the skills necessary to recognize the triggers. We can only hope.

[Panda39]

Calling 911 was exactly with my Partner did with his undiagnosed BPD ex-wife. 

We are not professionals, we are not Therapists, we are not mind readers, by calling 911 you are getting the professionals involved in your daughters care.  She may not like it, but that doesn't mean it isn't good for her.  Calling 911 is a natural consequence of your daughter making threats to hurt herself.

I'm with your Therapist, I think this is the right thing to do.  How do you feel about enforcing this, when it comes down to it will you be able to make the call? 

Panda39