Mentally beaten, broken and abused. 5 months of hell

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I also forgot. She wanted Bras, a Dunder Mifflin (the Office) T-Shirt and a black SECURITY T-Shirt. $49.00. I did that for her and a cat cup from Wish she says was destroyed, which looks like she broke on her own, costing me $10.00. I did so much for this woman! I got nothing.

[legalboxers]

I also forgot. She wanted Bras, a Dunder Mifflin (the Office) T-Shirt and a black SECURITY T-Shirt. $49.00. I did that for her and a cat cup from Wish she says was destroyed, which looks like she broke on her own, costing me $10.00. I did so much for this woman! I got nothing.

[legalboxers]

They say she will come back, with this one, I bet my life she wont come back. She went through 3 people already that I know of. I know she wont come back. I dont want to see her or anything. I keep looking at the calendar. Praying, hoping this year ends. On a serious personal note. I have a teddybear who I had since 1999. I call it my "sanity bear" Got me through alot since then. jobs, lifes obstacles (since I cant have a cat) This is the most bottom I have been in a while. Its a really cold and dark place. I never felt suicidal in my life, nor I will ever get to that stage. No one is worth that.. to me anyway. I dont know whats going to happen to me when February 13th, 2021 comes. The day I was suppose to get married. I planned it all in my head. There is a nice hotel here. A Justice of the peace who is a buddy of mine. I dont have any best men, I was going to ask her friend to be, and her best friend was going to be the maid of honor. One of her cats to be a ring barer. It was suppose to be nice   It was suppose to be amazing, I even altered my tux so I can fit in it. It was all ripped from my arms. Just like that.

[grumpydonut]

Legal,

I'm not a judge. I do think, however, you should get yourself into therapy.

There are a couple of things I can see that should have been red flags to you, but weren't. And I can understand why they weren't. I don't know you, but she filled a hole in you that you have been dancing around in your posts. I'm not sure if you recognise it's there, but it seems evident it it.

Either deal with it now, or be destined to likely repeat the same.

[legalboxers]

Grumpy: I am okay. As I said, I dealt with much worse in my life. Nothing usually comes back to light. I just hope she dont come back. The way she talks - she claims "oh every guy comes back and says how sorry they were"

[legalboxers]

so Im watching 90 day fiancee. her favorite show. I know they are 2 more episodes of the show so I can watch it, and slowly disconnect myself and not think of her. But problem is when I go into the dollar store, and Walmart..

[legalboxers]

8/4/2020. So here is an update. I had a friend check out her page, and she said "got rid of trash". and found something better without even looking. So here is my question. She accused me of cheating with the multiple text messages, when I didn't. She kept on getting more violent towards the end of the "relationship" which means someone was there as she was "with" me. So here is my question. What did I walk into, or out of, did she really honestly care for me, or was it a game?

[legalboxers]

Update 8/26/20 - so now she’s telling people she was in a toxic relationship with me, when she was the one who started this mess. She is playing the victim.    - has anyone else been through this? I mean I don’t know is it me? I did everything I could but I stood up for myself and got sick of the broken record of the multiple text messages and being yelled at my mother was calling to see how I was doing

[legalboxers]

Update 8/26/20 - so now she’s telling people she was in a toxic relationship with me, when she was the one who started this mess. She is playing the victim.   Red flag/bad  (click to insert in post) - has anyone else been through this? I mean I don’t know is it me? I did everything I could but I stood up for myself and got sick of the broken record of the multiple text messages and being yelled at my mother was calling to see how I was doing

8/4/2020. So here is an update. I had a friend check out her page, and she said "got rid of trash". and found something better without even looking. So here is my question. She accused me of cheating with the multiple text messages, when I didn't. She kept on getting more violent towards the end of the "relationship" which means someone was there as she was "with" me. So here is my question. What did I walk into, or out of, did she really honestly care for me, or was it a game?
==
Why is she playing the victim. She would attack me every single day over a text message. I did nothing wrong.