So I told my friend from HS (a buddy of mine I knew - 25 plus years) what I went through to get a 2nd, 3rd POV. He said I 'dodged a bullet'
. I told him I cant stop watching "90 day fiancee" because of her. Hard to do the whole association. I feel like Im still at fault when I know Im not. Its been a month. baby steps I know. Seek a therapist. I know. But I want to see if I can do this on my own. I know I didnt do wrong. I need to reprogram my brain.
I think Im getting there slowly. Maybe I miss the sex, maybe I miss the cuddles. Maybe I miss the theory of being in love. or the idea of being in love. Or knowing in my mind Id not be alone.
Many variables. But I need to get there. I wish I can wake up one day and just forget 5 months of my life...