Hi Wimax,
I'd like to welcome you to the family. I'm glad that you decided to join us.
I find at least in the short amount of time I have understood what is happening, I can deal with it better, although it is still tremendously difficult.
I don't live with my pwBPD for a few years now but I do coparent with her and had to learn new skills and that increased my awareness ( I was always self aware ) I don't know if you share similar feelings but I had no idea what was going on and at one point I thought that I was losing my mind because of how it was always my fault and it sounded convincing although there was always something off. It felt like I was going through an experience that was unique that no one had ever gone through before and it felt very isolating and hopeless but eventually I found BPD and like you are sharing here it was incredible how similar the behaviors were in the book and from reading the accounts from other members on this site as well.
Every discussion I felt like I could relate it felt like it was my life.
You probably already know this but it takes time to get a handle on learning new skills and accepting the fact that a loved on has BPD and accepting that a loved on can cause as well too. Learn as much as you can about the disorder you will quickly see the benefits ( you already have! ) and become proficient over time. Depersonalize the behaviors and learning about them is how you can learn that they the behaviors are not personal to us - it's something that a pwBPD is going through at the time but we're allowed to have our feelings about them too it helps to discuss those feelings with a T and a support group ( like us! ) Welcome to the family
PS This is an article that you may enjoy
https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating
