I need help

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi. I need help. I've been with my now wife for 9 years. About 7 years ago, she tried to commit suicide. Her life was saved, and she was mandated to in hospital counseling. The doctor diagnosed her with bpd. Everything I've read points to a positive diagnosis. She has been to counselors, with no luck. We live in a smaller town, so they're aren't a lot of options, plus we are lower income, so she has limited options due to her insurance. She is a recovering alcoholic (6 years strong), but has recently become someone I don't recognize anymore. The once over emotional woman I knew is now an angry hurtful shell. She says extremely hurtful things to me, in anger. I never used to cry. About anything. But she has been so horrible lately that she does make me cry. And she is relentless when she is in one of her moods. Tells me I'm "playing the victim ". That's not me. She just seems almost maniacal within the past 6 months. I don't know what to do. I have pleaded with her to seek medical help (counseling or something). She says it won't help. She literally refuses. Ive researched better counseling options and she just won't even consider it. At this point I'm just at a loss.

Btw, there are children involved. I have raised them. 2 of the 3 pretty much from birth. I see them as my own. It would be one thing tp throw in the towel if it were just the 2 of us, but thats not the case. And I won't abandon my kids.

[KatyDoe80]

Hi. I need help. I've been with my now wife for 9 years. About 7 years ago, she tried to commit suicide. Her life was saved, and she was mandated to in hospital counseling. The doctor diagnosed her with bpd. Everything I've read points to a positive diagnosis. She has been to counselors, with no luck. We live in a smaller town, so they're aren't a lot of options, plus we are lower income, so she has limited options due to her insurance. She is a recovering alcoholic (6 years strong), but has recently become someone I don't recognize anymore. The once over emotional woman I knew is now an angry hurtful shell. She says extremely hurtful things to me, in anger. I never used to cry. About anything. But she has been so horrible lately that she does make me cry. And she is relentless when she is in one of her moods. Tells me I'm "playing the victim ". That's not me. She just seems almost maniacal within the past 6 months. I don't know what to do. I have pleaded with her to seek medical help (counseling or something). She says it won't help. She literally refuses. Ive researched better counseling options and she just won't even consider it. At this point I'm just at a loss.

Btw, there are children involved. I have raised them. 2 of the 3 pretty much from birth. I see them as my own. It would be one thing tp throw in the towel if it were just the 2 of us, but thats not the case. And I won't abandon my kids.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[juju2]

Welcome

You are in the right place...

So a lot is happening for you and your wife.

Your wife getting sober is great.   Am hoping she goes to a.a.
There is a program that helps people deal w things, such as what you describe, al-anon.  You may want to check it out.

The more care and support you can get, the better.

Go easy on yourself, sounds like a lot going on right now.

Sometimes if I can just do one kind thing for myself, it makes my day a lot better.

Share more here when you can.   

There is hope, help, strength here.

Sincerely

j

[rjjr1963]

Is the abuse constant or is there a pattern.  Is she always negative all of the time?  I'm a sensitive man and I cry and my BPD girlfriend uses the same accusation about laying a guilt trip on her.