I left my husband with the hope of reconciling, but now I don’t know how.

[Grace Beth]

I recently left my husband of 23 years because I could not take the verbal and emotional abuse any longer.  He has not been diagnosed with BPD, but does display many of the characteristics.  Now that I am out, and working with my own therapist, I don’t even know how to begin working on reconciling.  I don’t know how long to wait until trying marriage counseling again.  When we tried (Marriage counseling) a couple Months ago, it was just more destructive interactions.  I feel so much peace being out of the home, but I also feel a little lost, like I am in a holding pattern.  Right now we are only emailing for communication and even that can throw me into an emotional roller coaster at times! 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pursuingJoy]

The holding pattern you're in can be tough. I always feel a sense of urgency, like maybe I should be doing more. This season is really important to achieving a new normal, a new way of relating. Things will happen in their time. It sounds like you're making good use of your time in this holding pattern. 

What sorts of things does he write that throw you into the emotional roller coaster?