Need help dealing w/ my 54 yr old brother who has BPD

[Tanzinite]

I have a brother 14 yrs younger then me he's 54 - I'm almost 68) & since my folks passed - until I can sell their condo in FLA (which he's been living in for 12 years), I must deal w/ him on a daily basis - long distance - I'm in NY.

He's a combat veteran w/ PTSD & has had severe ADD & migraines since childhood & is obese & has diabetes.  I also suspect he is also bi- polar. 

He refuses to take any medication except for his diabetes & is vehemently against applying for disability, (which he would qualify for), b/c it   would diminish his masculinity & can't hold a job especially during this time of covid. 

I have been paying his living expenses out of what would have been my 1/2 of our shared cash inheritance.(not that much, but I'm grateful we have anything) until we can sell the condo & he can move out.

I've been dealing w/ him in this way for 4 years (since before my mom passed) & it's effected my health.  I am now in a risk category for high blood pressure & have other health problems.   I just got Randi Kreger's book, but it's not enough.I need to be in communication w/ ppl who have similar circumstances & can advise me about not allowing myself to be so deeply affected by his lack of self awareness about how his hot temper & verbal abuse affects his sister.

All the best, Tanzinite

[Kwamina]

Hi Tanzinite

Welcome to our online community

The situation with your brother sounds quite tough. It is unfortunate that he seems unwilling to take more steps to deal with his issues.

You are also dealing with your own health problems which makes it even harder for you.

I am glad you are reaching out here for support. Many of our members have BPD family-members, and a lot of us (including myself) have a BPD sibling.

When did your brother's issues start? Was he already exhibiting certain difficult behaviors before he joined the military?

How does your brother generally treat you?

Take care and again, welcome to BPDFamily

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