Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
April 29, 2024, 01:23:36 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
the chain of abuse (and stopping it)
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: the chain of abuse (and stopping it) (Read 369 times)
Cromwell
`
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2212
the chain of abuse (and stopping it)
«
on:
November 16, 2020, 05:23:30 PM »
i guess this might be more advanced for some members because some might read this and I wonder thinking
"what the hell is he talking about"
the chain of abuse, it is crudely put - psychological theory of victim to abuser to victim and so on
take for example, I felt I wanted to send an insult on social media to my ex today, the only thing that stopped me was having to actually fill out a form and sign up. but if I did it is "to hurt" in some way, and why? because she had done to me.
but with reference to the "chain", is to see her as a prior victim to - why did she abuse me? she had been abused by someone else.
and so it goes, in both directions, the theory.
so i broke the chain from my end and if it has continued its linkage in some other direction, its nothing to do with me anymore.
and anyway im getting too old to find myself insulting folk. im nearly 40, not only can I not be bothered hurling any, ive heard all of them before to the point of viewing any as 'noise'.
i wanted a life with her, or someone, not noise, and fights, and mental detritus
too banal, im above all that. not a match, its plain to see. I needed to just become one with that and true to my self.. "bpd, not for me"
Logged
B53
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 326
Re: the chain of abuse (and stopping it)
«
Reply #1 on:
November 16, 2020, 08:07:18 PM »
Right on!
Logged
Lucky Jim
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211
Re: the chain of abuse (and stopping it)
«
Reply #2 on:
November 20, 2020, 01:49:07 PM »
Hey Cromwell, Nicely done. You did well to rise above the fray, by not engaging in mud slinging. It suggests to me that you have taken yourself out of the game, which I find a healthy approach. Right, the abuse buck stops with you. In my view you are on the right path, my friend.
LJ
Logged
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
Cromwell
`
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2212
Re: the chain of abuse (and stopping it)
«
Reply #3 on:
November 20, 2020, 02:03:57 PM »
Thank you both,
it is getting easier all the time, as each moment of not reaching out seems to create a memory of life going on without needing to - fuel drama, maintain a connection. It helps to mention it here, wish you all well.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
the chain of abuse (and stopping it)
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...