Do people with bpd feel like being indoctrinated?

[Bella2798]

There are some times in our relationship, that I feel like my partner doesn't feel well, like he answers in short sentences, doesn't reply or talk as much as he did before, and I certainly know that there is a problem. When I ask him if he's okay or not, he gets mad at me.
Tonight was somehow complicated. This happened, and I asked him to make sure he's okay. First, he said that he's not okay, but he doesn't know how to explain. I told him that I love him and I'm there for him if he needed any help, but suddenly he got mad at me. He said that he's fine, not mad or sad and I just indoctrinate him that he doesn't feel well.
After a while he told me he's suffering from loud noises in his house (sometimes he get super sensitive to noises and lights).
The problem is, I don't know how should I react in these kind of situations. Is it common for a person with bpd to feel like that, maybe as he wants to run away from his emotions or something?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

I think things that are mildly irritating to us nons can be overwhelming to pwBPD.

Often I find it better to ask my husband how he’s doing, rather than if he’s OK. And I don’t pursue it, figuring that he will tell me if he wants and not tell me if he doesn’t.

[Bella2798]

I think things that are mildly irritating to us nons can be overwhelming to pwBPD.

Often I find it better to ask my husband how he’s doing, rather than if he’s OK. And I don’t pursue it, figuring that he will tell me if he wants and not tell me if he doesn’t.

To be honest, these two questions are the same in our language. And no matter how I ask him, this always lead to such answers I mentioned above.
Do you think it's common or because of his bpd that he feels like that sometimes?

[Cat Familiar]

Perhaps you mean interrogated rather than indoctrinated?

If so, yes, pwBPD can easily feel that they are being interrogated if asked about themselves when they don’t feel like sharing their feelings.

[EyesUp]

Cat has great insight.  My wife often responds to the most innocuous discussions by stating that she feels "interrogated" even when no questions have been posed, and there is no intended threat.

I've come to understand that she responds this way when she perceives a threat, likely because whatever I've said is perceived with some shame or other cause for concern - whether I intend it, or know it, or not. 

I can only imagine how exhausting it must feel to constantly defend against these self-created traps, insecurities, doubts, troubles, worries, anxieties...   the most oblique association is cause for defense.