Feeling split myself

[danielled]

Hi there!
I decided to end my relationship.
I've been suffering for almost two years in this relationship.
I found the "egg shell" book yesterday and felt such a release, after reading Randy's story.
All this time, I've been blaming myself for everything that wasn't going well.
And I remember moments, when my ex-partner was very warm and sensitive.
We were very close, at least that's what I thought.
At some point I became the "enemy", accused for having mental issues myself.
He seemed different to me from the very beginning.
Today, I'm leaving with the feeling, that maybe I was the one with BPD, projecting this on my ex.
Maybe my ex was the one simply having low self-esteem...
Though I feel broken and split myself, lost and with a weak feeling of my identity...

[Mutt]

Hi danielled, 



I'd like to welcolme you to BPDFamily. I'm glad that you have found us - you will find members here that can relate with you and offer you hope. You are not alone.

A r/s with someone with a PD can feel like an emotional rollercoaster - at one point you can feel like you an empty shell and you feel scrambled and confused. The constant ups and downs have an effect on your mental and emotional state - the good news is that with enough time behind you and self work you can feel better and in some instances you can feel like you are a stronger version of yourself.

Today, I'm leaving with the feeling, that maybe I was the one with BPD, projecting this on my ex.

A hallmark of BPD is emotional immaturity - people that are emotionally immature do not self reflect because that requires emotional intelligence and dealing with more complex and true feelings.

Taking the time to think about your situation and dealing with true feelings does not sound like BPD.

You ended a two year r/s.

Where you living together?

Do you have kids together?

Have you heard from your ex partner?